The principle is this, disease is strength. With this one idea, my gifts go from being horrible nightmares to meaningful and life affirmative. My visions of the world and the people in it then can be made useful, meaningful, rather than just serving as horror show masks to keep me from relating to others. I have never chosen to see things in this way. I tried very hard to change myself, purify myself, hell, even underwent informal exorcism as a kid though I wasn’t exactly a volunteer. My dad would experience things, other people have as well, nightmares about me or other phenomena like voices from the walls, feelings of haunting presences even where there should be nothing. I was horribly ashamed. I am no longer. What do you think of this friends?

I almost died three years ago of Legionnaire’s Disease. . . . Hospitalized for eleven days, nearly died. Had visions of a Great Turning.” One of the greatest blessings of my life. I have had no fear of death whatsoever since those days in the hospital.

I have always understood death. I have lived it. It has literally been my life, and losing your fear of it does reflect a perhaps profound truth. People imagine that the state is far away, deeply removed from anything they love or value. This is very far from the case. It’s pervasive, like a shadow to every living thing, like a reflection in a pool of water.

I say I don’t fear death but I’ve never had my life really put in danger before to know. I almost want to feel the experience of it. But then my legs shake like crazy if I go near a ledge that’s too high, so jumping is out.

The Other Side

I have seen my whole life from that side. Time is not linear, so disease has no end, fear has no end, pain has no end. The other side is not paradise, but neither is it hell. Sounds hellish though doesn’t it?

So, the other side is a like a dream?

I think the other side is peace. True peace.

No. There is no peace. I promise you there is not, and I am not trying to scare you. Your chance at peace is here. Here and now. The other side is passions, burdens, fears and hopes and regrets.

I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I do not either. I only believe in my experience. Worlds within this world. Worlds that are souls, people,

I look to the natural world for “truth” . . . and I see passion there.

Time is not linear. What they call entropy doesn’t actually manifest in both directions, past and future. Entropy has another name, death. Do you ever ask yourself why you might have wanted to live?

Every day.

Those who have near death experiences often have the most profound answers to these questions. The reason my own attention seems too scattered in this world, is the other side is sound and fury, chaos, passion. Rather than signifying nothing, it actually signifies everything, and it’s from this storm of passions that you develop a will to live.

You want to see real passion? Watch a sprout breaking through April earth. Watch a chick pecking its way out of an egg.

This Life

You need this life. You need the quiet progress you can find here, because change is not impossible on the other side. Pain does not end, this is true, because it never actually began, neither does pleasure end, it also never began. What allows change on the other side is a process of growth which does not take place in time. Light does not experience time, nor does light experience distance. There is no distance between you and a departed loved one, perhaps a loving grandparent. They are right beside you. You do not see them, not because of how they are, but because of how you are. If they could speak to you directly, they would tell you not to seek to join them before it’s the natural time, for one simple reason. It’s not moralistic, no one and no thing there is judging you. They don’t want you to cut short your life, because you need your rest, you need your dreams. If this opportunity is lost, your consciousness is compromised, you become less sane, less a part of the communion, sort of like a form of schizophrenia sets in. Living these lives is healing. If you won’t sleep you will become catatonic, even comatose, and no one wants that.

They say that our bodies sleep so our brains can learn and clean themselves, and in a sense they are right, but they are reading it backwards. This life mirrors that existence, equal and opposite. So we dream here because we are still present there, and it’s natural that we should wake a little, stir and stretch a little on that side.

Maybe tendencies to be reclusive mean a very active former life and this is my rest life. My RnR life. As I say that my tummy feels better. Excellent.

Part of Healing

Now how this relates to disease, is it time to explain that? Other questions first? Is this all to crazy? Nonsense?

Freud was a healer? He had that potential, perhaps a beginning intuition.

Inspiration is like healing. so artists, singers and actors… I guess that’s why we like celebs so much.

To my vision, and I now understand it fully, I had to be willing to accept this part of myself, because in a way I am really supposed to be sleeping also. The dreamers are healing. They don’t look well to my vision. They toss and turn and moan, are pale and their openness to the breath is limited, shallow.

The dreamers are hungry. Everything they do is from distress, disease. They are never truly happy. As much as this disturbs me, I can now understand it. It’s a necessary part of the healing.

I’d say some are very happy and some are miserable.

I ponder depth psychology, discovery of unconscious, integration, individuation . . . = healing. . . (?)

This incarnation is a hospital for healing disease?

Yes. None are very happy, some are sleeping more peacefully. If they were very happy, they would not dream. This world is defined by grief.

Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~