The body has the way. The mind loses the way.
I am convinced emotion is a big part of memory. It’s been proven, to the point of a phenomenon called flashbulb memory. When you are in pain or afraid, your amygdale underscores every element of that event. Then will replay it involuntarily the next time anything even remotely resembles that. So forgiveness is clearing your head. Flashbulbs blind if your eyes are focused on them.
It’s a good test to find out how much of your emotional energy is locked up in something even when you think you’re over it. Yes.
Now, in my case, I display traits of what they call savantism, like an abnormally detailed memory. But for me, that is because my brain is on constant high alert. It treats everything as painful or threatening, so I had to learn forgiveness just to function. Mine is an extreme case, so it would make things like forgiveness abnormally easy, because it’s black and white for me. But for others, it can be much more challenging. The default of human behaviour is to assume that everyone thinks and feels at least basically the same as you do. You don’t have to choose this attitude, it’s subconscious. So if your brain is capable of peace and a restful state, then to have someone else do something that disturbs that, well… You just automatically conclude it has to be wilful.
Great errors made on that presumption. Exactly, it’s a hugely broken way of thinking.
I’d like to know more about savantism, and where that phrase “idiot savant” comes from. The phrase is no longer used, it’s just called savantism now and has two forms, acquired and inherent.
I’m glad. It doesn’t sound very polite. It isn’t, but the reason they used it was that someone with savantism develops talents that are seemingly impossible for the normal human mind, but reflexively they lack abilities in basic functional skills.
In a sense, forgiving is forgetting? But it’s forgetting your old state of mind vs. the event itself? Forgiving is not forgetting. I am basically unable to forget, but forgiving is seeing any event as it is, just an event. One of many possible events that can happen at any given time, and realizing that as anything arises it can just as certainly fall away. The only thing that persists is your own attitude.
One aspect of savantism is that whatever their talent, or set of talents is, they tend to hyper systematize things. For me, that systematization was with my memories and senses. So for me, everything in my head is a huge lexicon, a dictionary of things the brain can do. I see these things in other people as well, but for some reason they don’t see it happening. This confuses me, and I don’t know how to deal with the contradictory switching in their thinking.
Want to see me go berserk? Catch me at the wrong time and lie to me or perseverate in any way. I respect freedom of choice, and peoples right to reverse choices, but living life in this intellectual gray area, well… I am just not equipped to deal with that. This is part of why I tend to lose track of topics when someone in class argues the relativity of all truth. If someone says everything is relative, I cease knowing how to talk to that person, so I do a lot of forgiving.
I can say maybe, or I can say I choose not to decide at this time. Oh, for me, if you say the latter then I fully understand. I can accept that. It’s a clear and deliberate choice. If you say maybe, well… I just ignore that word, as I can’t process what it means.
Or just say I don’t know. I can understand that phrase as well, it’s also very clear. But people often viciously defend the gray area, act like they will die if they say that they do not know something.
I can make a choice when I see what the options are, but I don’t make a choice blindly. My hubby hasn’t croaked yet either. He tries to make up an answer if he doesn’t know. He would be more helpful to everyone involved if he admitted he was speculating.
I will wrap up my part in this with a synopsis of my own experience. For me as a child, everything was frightening, even my own mind as everything was following patterns that at the time made no sense to me. The only way I didn’t wind up a catatonic mess was to develop a tolerance for that fear, and then in time I grew more comfortable. I began to experience human behaviour and emotional expression, and that again frightened me so I never developed social skills, not as a youth, but as a late bloomer. But again, given time with that fear, I began to realize that everyone’s behaviour and emotions have a center, and they will sooner or later return to that.
That is forgiveness for me. Anyone else care to share?
Is forgiveness love? Love is the root of forgiveness, but forgiveness is a mental stance and attitude. Love is deeper.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.