Walls don’t always block. They can funnel, intensifying the flow of the river.
We revile arrogance. Every instinct makes us shun the one who can not allow for the significance of others. This is good and valid, because arrogance is also a neurosis and the arrogant persons judgement is suspect.
Can one have arrogance and empathy?
Seems mutually exclusive.
I think there can be a healthy balance of both. I will go into that.
Arrogance feels too rigid for empathy and shame too self centered.
Can one have shame and empathy? True humility (though the word doesn’t serve) is expressed only in simplicity. So shame and arrogance… Do either allow simplicity?
This makes me think of drama and that never seems simple. There are two essential dramas; tragedy and comedy. The arrogant person lives a comedy of hubris and error with never there being a genuine moment in their life, because everything must serve the self image, glorify the self. In the case of shame, the shame ridden person lives a life of tragedy with a long stream of self doubts, and might have been potential that we eschewed in the name of the crushing weight of the supposed truth of their meagre spirit. Where can simplicity fit in either story? Even the pariah who supposedly embodies humility… They can be some of the most zealous.
If I may use your story in daycare? Another girl said you were rude when you were showing off a picture you drew. Simplicity would have been this… Little girl was drawing a picture to make physical an imagining in her mind, and understanding that experiences could be shared, sought to share her picture with her peer and potential friend. The simple response from the other child would have been to see the picture as a picture to look at, and then share what they saw in the picture or if they preferred not, to say or do something unrelated to the picture.
In fact, the essence of the behaviour, scientists and doctors are calling autism, is nothing more complicated than choosing the unrelated response for defensive reasons. Hopefully, in a healthy child the unrelated response is just one choice and not a compulsive choice. But where in the simple exchange that I described would there have been any real harm to either child?
They might have felt ignored? Children naturally feel hurt by being ignored? Or they learn to feel hurt? The earliest efforts at socializing, every child makes, involves ignoring the primary care giver.
Doesn’t pain teach them hurt? There is no pain in silence. A famous thinker once said that all of humanities problems arise from a human being not being able to be by themselves in a quiet room for any length of time. At first, an infant doesn’t panic just because they don’t see their primary care giver. In the early stages of experience we can hardly identify any other presence, are barely self aware in the adult sense, and part of our mind remains like this. In the case of autism, it’s like this and mostly stays like this.
I used to work in a preschool and a few of the kids really got upset when their parent left, but most were happy. It isn’t a lack of love for the children to not panic when the parent leaves. It’s twisted if they are so insecure that they do panic, but it’s not the child’s fault.
Usually, the Moms get upset at seeing their child no longer needs them as much. It’s always emotional. The mothers angst is an emotionally damaged and damaging factor. Maternal and paternal love never need to stop being exercised, but the sheparding behaviour does need to end for both the child and the parents benefit.
Is that related to true humility? The ability to be alone? Yes. The self being able to be self by itself. What more is there to simplicity?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.