We live our ideas.
I find I get angry at the things I didn’t say rather than what I had the guts to say. Indeed. It’s easier to accept facts of existence than it is to accept self-negation brought about by the confusion society has handed us in the process of so called proper socialization. If you wrong someone, at least you have a clear problem to be aware of and maybe fix.
It is easier to apologise for saying the wrong thing than for saying or doing nothing. Yes. Perhaps it’s sort of like cutting hair, you can always take off more, but you can never take off less.
Sometimes the best solution IS to do nothing. It’s not always worth it to fight when you can just leave. Indeed, but perhaps yes.
We can’t control ourselves very well if we define things by what we don’t do or aren’t allowed to do. Science has been testing this rather thoroughly lately as they are looking at the biological side of self-control. Self-control achieved by obeying a “thou shalt not” statement actually increases later aggression. We can see plenty of evidence of this is in western society, no?
Tell someone, don’t push this button, will entice them to push it. But tell them what the machine is doing and they will be more likely to leave it undisturbed. Tell them something they can do instead of pushing the button and they may forget the button is even there, lose interest in it entirely.
That works great with kids, distraction. Do we do this in our personal lives usually? We tend to try to solve our problems, perfect our behaviour, force the correction of things. Anyone know another word for forced correction?
Prison? Punishment. We become our own jailers and as with any undeserved punishment we become bitter and resentful, even begin engaging in self-defeating behaviour out of spite. I have noticed, in my own life, many hyper responsible people are also alcoholics which makes them lose self-control.
Yet how many prisoners get released that are truly corrected? The prisoner has learned something, one thing really, hate.
Does it work differently for people that willingly turn themselves in for a crime? Do they leave feeling better? Actually, yes it does, or at least it can. It has the potential. But those who are supposed to be serving that willingly penitent person often defeat the very purpose they supposedly exist for. They take the willing person seeking correction and enact their own crimes because “They deserve it!” So they also tend to leave worse off though it should have been differently.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.