I don’t feel that people hurt because they are unenlightened. I feel they are unenlightened because they do not hurt.
At any given time in your life, no matter how peaceful your life might seem to be, you have both harmony and dissonance in play. And the effort to totally eliminate either would disrupt the one you have decided in favour of.
What would it take for you to remove all disagreement between you and even those you like best in your life? Would it take anything less than removing them or removing yourself from them?
Lies. Can you lie without withdrawing your genuine presence from another person’s life?
I didn’t argue with a girlfriend for a year. I thought that kind of odd. When she finally revealed who she really was, she was not a very nice person. This is all too common, and does our society discourage it? Does it have any means to control this?
We’re encouraged not to rock the boat. Yes. Don’t rock the boat, and if you have a natural human weakness, then you are rocking the boat and should feel guilty, which makes you anxiously try to make amends for rocking the boat and you wind up rocking the boat more. Does the penitent person do anything other than just make themselves seem more guilty and untrustworthy? How well does “please forgive me!” work?
Now to bring it home, because in the end, other people’s behaviour is of very little concern to our personal spiritual lives. I use the hypothetical other person to illustrate a relationship that can exist inside ourselves, a way we can wind up relating to ourselves. We try to resolve issues in our self through raw determination and effort. We decide on some way that we should behave and think and feel, and generally, do a great deal to make certain that remains the way things are for us. In all that inner turmoil, how well do we succeed?
That usually fails, I think. Why would it fail? Who would we be if we succeeded in perfectly moulding ourselves to fit our chosen ideals?
Like trying to steer a boat without knowing the winds and currents. We would be lost and seriously confused.
We’d be like the ex-girlfriend. At best. That isn’t a rare breed unfortunately, but even they fail. They always reveal themselves for what they are inside.
And probably more bitter then they would have been if they expressed themselves in the first place. We cannot preserve anything that we approve of in ourselves without accepting the consequences of its presence in us. Can you keep to the behaviour of being generous and also completely avoid being taken for a sucker?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.