The system of ‘should’ doesn’t seem to have anyone who’s knowingly in charge. It’s sort of like a mental virus. Choice is power. Should is force and static.
I will offer one of my own rocks for consideration.
No matter what I say and do, I never feel like I have really connected with other people. I always feel like I say something wrong or something boring or stupid, and usually feel like I should just avoid saying things at all. It’s terrifying to imagine what people might be thinking my motives are. What they might imagine I see myself as. So any suggestions for how I might accept this rock I have in my being? Or should I accept it?
Speaking in front of people is always scary. It’s easy to second guess yourself.
And you may think you are boring when people don’t respond to your questions.
Talk and share when you feel like it, and don’t when you don’t.
I think any measure of success helps you feel more confident.
There is a strange thing there. The things I talk about I have strong feelings about, and because of those strong feelings I feel the urge to talk about the ideas. But I don’t see the ideas as having anything to do with me.
Do you talk to yourself and think you are boring or stupid when you don’t answer your own questions? Actually, I don’t ask myself questions, and I don’t really talk to myself, not in the sense of a dialogue. I use my self-talk to give my mind a handle on what I am seeing or hearing or otherwise perceiving. It’s a catch 22, but I offered my own case as just an example.
I think it’s always good to watch what you say and make sure you put forth your ideas in a way that will be accepted better. So I think your rock is actually a good thing. All rocks are ultimately good things, because it’s why we engage in the skilful behaviour we do show. We learn from our mistakes, but then we try to unlearn or undo the mistake. Why is that?
No mistakes just happy accidents. This understanding applies to any issue. It just takes on different shapes with different issues.
Gaining confidence is not smashing the rock. It’s just making it part of the design. Yes. You can always have a seat on the rock. It can be a good vantage point to look at things beyond your sand garden.
You can’t walk through the sand without making footprints either. Well, like nature, things do indeed change. Our rocks don’t remain unchanging. With the passage of time and life energy they do change shape and emotional colour, weight even. Eventually, they can even wind up sand, but they do this only in their own time.
So scream at your rocks and you only hurt your own ears. Throw your fists at your rocks and it’s only your own hands that get bloody. But, and here is the bigger mystery, other people don’t really see your rocks. They just see the landscape of life that they encounter you in, and their attention goes to you. If you have been breaking your knuckles on your own rocks, then if they should need your help, what then?
It’s like those lines you rake in the sand guide people around your rocks so that they don’t run into them. Indeed. You show people what it means to be with you. Even if you ignore it yourself, you show them valuable things, because you are a reflection of those things. You can’t avoid being the mirror of your own treasures.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.