We need other people to feel fulfilled in life.

What we actually need is something that other people can give us and aren’t yet. This is why there is so much noise in social interaction, so much tension and drama. We instinctively realize this stuff isn’t real so we pressure each other. We are like a tightly huddled heard of cattle trying to make the first person jump, react to the first person to blink. Of course this has not a chance in hell of working.

Like lemmings? Yes.

So instead of finding that self-actualized person, we scratch and uncover a neurotic individual, and convince ourselves we were right. Do the equivalent of saying “I told you so” if only to ourselves. We honestly believe that this is truth, this is reality. It’s actually just a huge psychotic delusion and we keep drinking the poison Kool-aid and weeping quite sincerely when we fail to figure out why our stomach hurts so bad.

This is the biggest reason professionals describe me as “withdrawn.” This stuff doesn’t even make enough sense to me in order for me to even fake it, to even begin to play that game, so they say I am socially mal-adjusted. Say I have things like avoidant personality disorder because I won’t fight with someone when I get into one of those strange social conflicts. Should I really?

Well, psychiatry is far from a real science. What about neurobiology then? Psychopharmacology? Computational theory? Information theory?

Neurobiology is still a baby in the science world since most of it is speculation or was for a while.

Neurobiology is still in its infancy and psychopharmacology is a money making scheme.

Game theory? To my experience there is no such thing as real science, just a game with a set of rules that has had the good fortune to discover some things, most often despite itself, rather than because of its rules. Is that morally wrong of me to view it that way? Am I deluded?

Morally wrong? No.

Out of touch with reality?

Well, when something better comes along we will adopt that and drop the old way. I am not convinced of that. Too much gets ignored for too long. Better options present themselves repeatedly. Humanity has up till now reliably favoured convenience, or self aggrandizement, over the better, stronger, more predictive theory.

Hopefully, they are paying attention to other possible discoveries at the same time.

So any questions or comments about desire, attention, or the relationship between the two? Does it still seem we are consciously using these? Or cooperatively and synergistically using them to solve problems? The two together are what ancient metaphysics referred to as True Will. It should be possible for anyone, everyone.

I think successful people have figured out how to, but many people get lost in the minutia of life. Funny, what I have been talking about is the minutia of life, all the rest is tacked on, above and beyond, often superfluous. I guess it’s understandable we get lost in it, it lacks context. Sometimes so badly that it just doesn’t make sense at all and we get stuck trying to figure it out, like trying to figure out a string of letters because we believe it’s a code when there is no connecting cypher. It is no code, just a string of letters, and the cigar really is just a cigar.

Perhaps the biggest secret of life is that we try to find secrets where there are no secrets, and busily ignore the basis of genuine experience in which we could actually come to understand any and all mysteries.

The secrets secrete sea crates. Indeed, reminds me of the poem from Alan Wake, which I can’t recall right now and is probably legally protected, but I can easily summarize. The truth is stranger than fiction, and this supposed real life that we can make sense of, that we can supposedly function in, is indeed fiction.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~