Ever felt that you’re simply not good enough? Or have a hard time convincing yourself of your value and capabilities? Well, you’re not alone. There are so many people spread around the globe and thinking the exact same thing. The phrase ‘I’m not good enough,’ has done more harm than good. Further, with external criticism, it’s quite easy to forge ahead but when that comes from within, it takes more than ordinary effort to get things right. This is because it’s a ‘mind thing’ and often involves every bit of emotion pulling towards the same direction – failure.
It’s normal to feel let down once in a while. Let’s face it, the world is not going to hand anything to anyone. Not feeling good enough inhibits your chances of getting the best out of the situations life throws at you. With the feeling “I’m not good enough,” you often feel the need to explain yourself. This also comes with the desire to prove yourself with the goals and objectives you’ve accomplished.
While goal attainment is an awesome feeling and it gives you a huge boost psychologically, if your main purpose is to feel okay or get some approval from those around you, that joy will be short-lived. This is because there’s normally no end in sight. From one goal and onto the next, leaving you in a cycle that’s never-ending.
There are many causes of the “I’m not good enough” feeling. Some of them revolve around the state of a person’s finances, being unlucky with relationships, family issues, small social circles, peer pressure and lack of self-esteem. Got such feelings? Not to worry, you’re on the right track as this article contains proven ways to help you kill this feeling for good. You’ll also have to extend your notion of self at some point.
Be Kind to Yourself
Being kind to yourself is important. It’s okay to make mistakes or be well off the mark with your goals. But if you constantly beat yourself up, what good will that do? To find peace, you can look inward. But telling yourself what a failure you are won’t instantly make you the best. Also, telling yourself how useless you’ve become will never get you to feel worthy enough.
Most people are harsh on themselves and go the extra mile to make it impossible to break free from the habit by saying demeaning things. For instance, saying stuff like “I’m lost and will never get it,” or “I’m not half as good as the next person. Such words leave a scar that often takes a long time and patience to get rid of. However, you can create new thought patterns such as thinking and telling yourself that “I’m good enough.”
Speak it Out
No one can make out what you’re thinking about until you let it out. As Shakespeare once said: “there’s no art to find the mind’s construction on the face.” With your thoughts all bottled up and weighing you down, you’ll get depressed fast. But letting your thoughts out can help you see from different angles. You’ll get better and have constructive perspectives. Get someone you trust or close to you, preferably one who listens attentively. Whatever tension, thoughts and emotions you feel, vent them out. This will help you get out of the rot faster than you expect.
Furthermore, you can talk things through with a friend. Get his/her perspective on your situation, particularly if they’ve passed through the same thing. Most times, the overwhelming problem you think you have only needs the smallest of solutions. You can only realize this when you open up and share your thoughts. In addition, both of you can devise a plan to help you improve and work your way out of not feeling good enough.
You may lack that close friend to speak to or vent your feelings. To counter this, you can use a journal. It doesn’t have to be as perfect as that of a professional essay writer. Simply write down the challenging thoughts bogging you down. You’ll see a different angle to things, get an overview and find some clarity on how to approach the problem. More so, you can write positive things to counter the feeling of not being good enough.
Stop the Comparisons
Comparisons are dangerous! The advent of social media has seen a lot of platforms developed to help people connect and communicate but they go deeper than that. Many people go through such platforms and watch their peers seemingly doing better than them. If you have the same thoughts, you couldn’t be more wrong.
Glossy images and videos seldom reflect what goes on behind the scenes. Also, you shouldn’t feel bad about your truths and being real. For instance, many people feel pressured to look a certain way and do all they can to look and act like the images they see. It’s okay to have favorite actors, models and artists but if you feel bad living in your own skin, you’ll only enhance the feeling of not being good enough.
Feeling “not good enough” doesn’t end on social media. Watching your peers get to certain positions, doing well in one business or the other, can make you resent yourself. However, you don’t have to let it get to you. They are human like you and perhaps you should ask for some pointers or work on yourself rather than playing the self-pity card. Further, there’s no such thing as the perfect family, the perfect home or body. It’s all about knowing how unique you are.
Leave the comparisons to people who have nothing else to do or offer. Don’t get all judgmental on yourself because everyone is dealing with their own fears, insecurities, limitations, and trying to figure out who or what they are. This makes them just like you in more ways than one.
Focus More on Progress and not Perfection
It’s easy to get lost trying to achieve absolute perfection with your goals. When you fail, you feel guilty and laden with thoughts of how things could’ve been. In addition to not feeling good enough, you think you’re not worthy of reaching the set mark. You’ll get frustrated and anxious for nothing.
Looking closely, you’ll notice that feeling “not good enough” generates the desire to be perfect. This won’t make you feel any better. Rather, you’ll feel worse as the day goes by, especially when you’re trying to prove something that is unlikely to happen. Goals are great but don’t take it personally when you can’t get them all done perfectly. With a goal set as high, be proud when you hit close to the mark. For instance, if your target is 100% and you achieve 70%, see it as a win. That’s progressive thinking.
This will help you work toward being better without focusing on achieving perfection. In addition, it keeps you moving in the right direction with minor but progressive victories.
Be Your Authentic Self
Do you know yourself or you’re struggling to be a cheap imitation of someone else? Being authentic is great. You’ve got nothing to hide and you ultimately feel confident in yourself. This does wonder for your self-esteem and keeps any vague feeling of not being good enough away from you. What’s more, living a lie hurts in the long term and skews the reality of who and what you are.
Being your authentic self also saves you a lot of energy and stress on imitating someone else. There’s nothing sadder than losing the very essence of your being, rather than staying comfortable in your own skin.
Conclusion
These are ways to help you kill the feeling of not being good enough. There’s nothing like a quick-fix because you have to put in a lot of mindful effort to get rid of the feeling once and for all.
Isabell Gaylord
Guest Blogger
Dragon Intuitive
Isabell Gaylord is a journalist, content marketing specialist and professional content writer with a lot of experience writing quality articles for Edubirdie reviews. She specializes in such spheres as business, marketing, and education.