A weight can be a lightening of existence. Chains can be freedom. The prisoner knows what freedom is clearly.
When you meditate that is non doing, but many people see it as a special state of mind. We meditate to get in touch with the now and who we are now. It isn’t by any struggle that we can do this. Struggle prevents this. Yet people even struggle to not think or do anything during meditation.
We have a contrived way of being, doing and thinking that often puts us out of touch with the obvious. It makes us behave in ways that we later regret, and we don’t know why we did. This makes life seem chaotic and we fear we are losing it. Everyone else seems crazy. All from something so simple as the idea that we need to struggle, that we need to fight, that things are hard. We make things hard because we believe they are hard. We think if we don’t force ourselves to do stuff we never will, but why do we believe this?
If when you sit in zazen (or employ another meditation practice) your mind is filled with turmoil, that isn’t a failure of meditation. That is a very direct experience of your current state. People find they have too many voices in their head when trying to meditate. Before you sit was there a lot of “I should” thinking? A lot of anxious doing? You still didn’t fail to meditate, you just experienced where you are.
Non Doing can arise from meditation. Meditation is being with yourself exactly how you are and experiencing that. Your body and mind will prioritize. The many mansions of heaven written about in the Bible are inside of you. When you meditate and feel yourself in another place, it could be you are merely seeing a scientific truth. Time is an idea. Not being able to keep time during meditation isn’t a meditation problem. Time and space aren’t real, so you are likely very deeply in your place. Honestly, you need not try to achieve anything. If your nature and desire are natural they will manifest.
Meditation is a very personal experience, a growth experience. Meditation is being a good listener to yourself. Body reflects heart reflects mind reflects soul, endlessly mirroring the one spirit. The one life from which all individual life arises, and being aware of your own soul is very possible.
To let your state deepen, let your mind be whatever it is. Your brain is an organ. It works like your heart or lungs. Consciousness is more than thought. Life is more than experience. Consciousness is washing your garments. Mind, ego, experience, these things you function in. Mind arises from soul. It is not the total of soul.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.