Reality as it was defined is coming unglued. I am not afraid of that, exhilarated.
The enlightened are called by a new term in modern psychology. They refer to it as being self actualized. My condition is in a sense an enforced nihilism. I am autistic, which means that my very sense impressions seem meaningless. There is something that remains in the face of this. I have learned to function in the face of this.
My foundation is shaken. Having your foundation shaken comes because your screen was disrupted, but you did see something. Just because your glasses are broken, you didn’t go blind.
I saw too many things in fast progression. Yes, and I do daily. To even articulate a sentence can be overwhelming for me.
And each were opposite and yet temporarily valid. Neither were in fact valid. What was valid was the seeing. No impression by itself is valid. The music is heard in the space between the notes. Daily, I have to hear the silence between the notes, otherwise the dissonant screeching would drive me insane. No sense impression is valid, by itself. No state of being is valid, by itself. Love and light, enlightenment, patriotism, wisdom, all that we value, all that we revile, any hate, is invalid, by itself. You want to disbelieve? Fine. Then really do it.
The resounding silence that is between all things is not impermanent. Everything you hear has its sound as an echo of that silence. Everything you see is illuminated in that darkness.
I think, perhaps, as much as you hurt right now, you haven’t hurt enough. You are resentful. You think you are broken. I don’t think you really understand what it is to be broken, broken from birth, broken in your mothers arms, broken in their eyes and minds, broken in your rearing, broken in any doing you undertook.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.