Is shame basically instilling guilt? Shame is the belief in guilt and “justified” treatment of the guilty party. There is no justification. What can I get from punishing anyone? Have you gotten anything from punishing anyone?
Actually, it just feeds my negativity. Usually makes me feel worse. Yes, and them too, and makes them associate you with pain. Even if they don’t say “You were unfair”, they don’t have to, and human instinct doesn’t care about that. If you are associated with pain, no matter what kind, you become an object of aversion, less helpful and less influential, not more.
There is a weird exception to this rule, and I tend to do this very well. There are moments when pain is cathartic and a person can crave pain. They are lost and numb, and actually very deeply afraid. In those cases the pain a perceptive person could give would be very attractive, healing even, because it forces “letting go.” Some people even seek sources of this pain, usually not being able to judge well who would have the most to offer there, and get caught in a vicious, addictive, repetitive cycle. They wanted the right pain, but just got more reason to feel numb. So they look for the pain they want again, and just get more numb until they actually do something that will perhaps “destroy” their life. All in the quest to “atone” not with the righteous, but with themselves.
Those who understand this dark side of life are seen as very evil people because “How could they know this so well?! Why would they be willing to do it ?!” They become the scapegoat. Should these scapegoats be ashamed?
No, but people really want to hold onto their numbness it seems. Or even when they bless their scapegoat and praise him or her as a liberator, they still don’t want to see them around. They become the persons “dirty little secret.”
And they often go back to the same pattern. Yes, and to their scapegoat. People have said that I’m “like a priest, but without the holy”, but they mostly don’t want to respect that. Should I shame them? Hmm, how would a scapegoat earn respect?
I have no idea. They’re inherently out of the system. Well, consider this. We make our own saviours and we make our own monsters. So maybe regardless of what a scapegoat wants, we leave them only the path we set before them. This seem valid? The one saving grace for the saint or the living devil is transcendence, learning about the truth that made them, and not to try to live inside that world. Accept their “uninvited” status, which is summarized well in the song by the same name as well. Another that relates would be Iris by the Googoo Dolls. Reflect well the communication dynamic.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~
Uninvited
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you’re not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you’re not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced like mine before
But this is not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don’t think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
~ Alanis Morissette
Iris
And I’d give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be,
And I don’t want to go home right now.
And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it’s over,
I just don’t want to miss you tonight.
And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And you cant fight the tears that ain’t coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive.
And I don’t want the world to see me,
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I dont think that they’d understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
~ Goo Goo Dolls