Life is an unsolved riddle only to the degree that you haven’t yet realized yourself to be the answer.
We objectify love making it a means to a different end, and the divorce rate is high. We believe love is a static, but we perhaps should ground a bit more. Everything you want will all satisfy this classification: A means to self expression. Yet we are told that any energy or resources spent on self expression is what?
Typically a waste. Yes. I have been in such deep sorrow before that I could not resist crying in public. I had no more reserves to shore up that wall. I was told two things; that I was creating a disturbance, and that I was wasting my energy. In what way is that waste? How is my nature, and an expression of my being state, any sort of waste?
It’s a waste of your personal energies, but they are yours to channel however you need to. Cruel and insensitive criticisms from those who do not understand. The person who was so distressed by my weeping was expending a lot of energy resisting their own reaction to my sorrow, which I was not responsible for. So rather than manage their own feelings, they told me I had to manage mine for them.
True. Our nature is to also cry when we see someone in distress, and we’re told we can’t do that. In a sense, that’s the instinct to compassion. Even if you know it’s not literal fact, some part of your mind recognizes that that man or woman could be your brother or sister, or recognizes that you could think and feel as they do. So you “feel their pain”, because pain is the message that something is wrong. We can’t deny this. So how would my critic not have wasted their time/energy?
By feeling theirs? By listening and offering comfort? Yes, and they don’t have to offer “problem solving”. That is a questionable gift at best. Usually someone doesn’t understand your thoughts, feelings, or situations as well as you do, so advice in general is notoriously bad.
We each have a need to express our feelings. Both expressions are valid in there way. I agree. In fact, I have had one or two people who just had a cry with me, and well, one blamed me and we grew apart. The other didn’t blame me, and we bonded because in that moment we could just both be. Be the ugly and the beautiful, and maybe even suspend judgement about those things.
My hubby likes it when I just let him rant about stuff. Yes, and loves/respects you for it. You recognize he isn’t being “mean” nor is he being untrustworthy, if anything quite the opposite. In being so open with you you know exactly how he feels, and his behaviour won’t be any surprise.
Even if it is a subject I don’t understand like computers. He says it helps. Does it not help you also? Hmmm, sometimes it is funny. If you can both laugh even that can be bonding. But any event that occurs in your environment, or to you directly, will either be constructive or destructive interference. If you have his trust he will likely do that too. Thus your role in his heart is “constructive interference”, but it’s still interference. Interference is not immoral. It can’t even be helped actually. Kick a pebble? You did interfere with it, and well, you aren’t going to avoid hurting anyone either, because you don’t get to decide if it helps or hurts. You just decide if you connect or not.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.