We live our ideas.
So can we really define kindness as a resource?
I feel awkward requesting kindness too. Why do we feel that? Like we don’t want charity. We feel awkward requesting kindness, because we know that anything other than kindness is a sign of disease, unease, imbalance. It’s implicitly wrong.
Good deeds done to you can lack kindness without emotion behind it. That states it fairly clearly. Good deeds done to you, and if they are done for you without your request then those also are done to you. What if kindness is a state of being? Not something to be given or received?
It would arise appropriately from desire
Kindness would feel like a big soothing breath if it was a state of being.
What if kindness is something that instead of seeking from others, you generate for yourself? If you put all other considerations aside, and discovered your own sense of rightness and connectedness.
Give yourself permission?
You would feel open and unafraid.
Many people have accused me of being kind. I have made some attempts in the past to be kind when I was feeling lost and insecure. They did not go well, but I have always held inside myself a sense not of how other people should behave, but how I should be in the world.
I refuse to get into struggles to prove my worth to anyone, so I avoid it. I refuse any efforts others make to prove their worth to me, and I don’t want it. I refuse to create the picture of the world that others subscribe to just because it would be “accepting reality.” I have another reality in my heart and I will live it even without permission. In my youth and early adulthood, everything seemed to conspire to teach me I was powerless over the world and the people in it. It also seemed to be teaching me that I had to bend to the power others exercised over me. On this I refused. My heart and my mind are the territory I will not allow anyone else to govern or shape without my consent. Strange thing, when you stop being kind to others, you start being kind to others.
People want to control you, so they try to convince you that you are powerless. Be a good employee.
Lots of kids are taught this. Listen to mom and dad, mind your own business with others, don’t talk back.
No wonder lots of adults fall apart when confronted with a terrible boss. They have been taught that authority is the law.
As long as kindness is a system and set of obligations that you must follow in order to have others judge you to be a good person, kindness is cruelty and is personified in the people who practice it. How many “good” people do you know? Most everyone?
They all claim it. I don’t claim it myself, but the cycle of what is going on is pretty clear, really.
What motivates me to help people? That is simple really. It has nothing to do with kindness or being kind. People are my life, simple as that. The meaning of life is in the beings living it, and I prefer a meaningful life.
So are we being kind asking you to keep doing these classes? Teachers often say they learn from their students. You are neither being kind nor cruel, and I do indeed learn from the people who share here. The reality of the situation, of any situation, is that we are all here for our individual reasons, and what allows a situation to persist is that people can share a common spirit between these individual intentions.
You recognize a certain disposition, or stance if you will, in the other people you interact with, and you can come to trust that perhaps even more than you trust someone’s behaviour or feelings. Even angry people have dinner, even smart people have questions, even happy people need quiet moments. There is a reality located not in your own mind, but distributed between the minds of yourself and others.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.