Look within and look around. You are not lost.
Most people keep frustration at a distance in their awareness. They just try to deny the feeling and function anyway. Anyone care to tell me how well this works?
- It builds. Yes, because the state is very real and sort of like fragmentation on a hard drive it can have a cumulative effect.
- Not well at all generally. Usually a temporary solution to a deep need requiring resolution.
- Neither yielding to it nor holding it back work for me.
Actually, the idea that you shouldn’t yield to it is a common trap, but it’s also half true. Frustration isn’t the vague thing people think it is. Tell me, do we get frustrated when we see how things are? If we do, is it very strong?
- Not when I accept how things are and not compare it to an idea of the way I want it.
- We get frustrated when things are not going the way we believe they should.
When you understand why a situation is the way it is, do you get as frustrated as when you don’t understand why?
- Not at all.
- No. I get frustrated because I have a belief about how something should look, go, be and it is not.
Our problem with frustration is actually a problem with beliefs. Specifically frustration = resistance. It’s not just disagreement between your beliefs and reality. It’s effort on your part to deny, resist and act as if your belief was real, and when we do that, can we keep our focus on the original spirit of that belief? Can we resist a conditions reality and make our belief manifest?
No, our original belief is being challenged which is why we are frustrated. And we believe the circumstance will make us compromise. We fear it means we “can’t”. Why is this so commonly believed?
- Because if it is what we believe, then to realize it may be untrue also means that there is something unknown before us, and we never like not knowing.
- We’re told we can’t so often?
Both true, but the unknown is not really in front of us. It’s within us. We adopt the belief for a personal reason, but then attribute that reason to supposed experience of the world, when all we have experienced is ourselves.
This reminds me that we spend all our time when researching something in finding information that already supports our belief, and reject information that doesn’t. But when you look into the wrong domain, as I myself have done, then this misidentification can keep you quite stuck in a loop you yourself created. We experience first ourselves, then the world. At first you aren’t aware that your senses are even working. They literally begin working before your brain knows they are.
And then spend our lives trying to fit the world to us and get frustrated? Then you experience yourself in that stimulation. In fact, the raw organic input is really rather abstract. Any other qualities it seems to have are actually qualities of ourselves. Beautiful people find beauty. Angry people find anger. If I offer a child a cookie, I offer the child a cookie. If I offer an adult a cookie, I might be offering them calories, or offering them “not their favourite”. Really has nothing to do with direct experience does it?
So what does this mean to frustration? It doesn’t mean you aren’t frustrated. It doesn’t mean your beliefs are even wrong. It just means you are in a state of resistance. You can’t get there from here until you open your eyes and look at the here and now, can you?
But but but… it’s so hard! Why is it so hard? You are trying really hard when you’re frustrated. Really, really hard. It’s as hard as you try, but do you have to try to believe the original belief?
No, but then doubt creeps in. Ok. Our senses work pretty reliably, but how often when asked “Did you see that?” or “Did you hear that?”, do people give you a blank stare? The senses work pretty reliably, but how often do people actually “see” all the qualities of something in front of them?
I think at that point it’s not about belief anymore. It’s been challenged. We now know there is another option. Doubt is now present and we have a choice to make. That’s frustrating as hell! I disagree that it’s not about belief. It’s all about belief, because you feel you have to make a choice because you have a belief. Otherwise, it would just be a circumstance in front of you.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.