So yes, grief. I don’t relate to it properly. I experience loss only when things lose meaning, everything else is just a new found quiet. I even begin to panic when something starts to seem meaningless, don’t I? What is that like to witness from your point of view?

It’s dramatic. Like debit card transactions. Yes. They are a source of anxiety, or anything involving having to negotiate socially. That’s just an obvious one. I would rather not do whatever it is than to try to negotiate my case, convince someone to do what I asked.

I used to be the same way. Perhaps for a different reason. Why were you that way?

Well, I always hated the idea of haggling. I just want to know the price so I can pay it. For me, I don’t understand the whole context of haggling. I have no clue about what any of it means. I don’t have the human mindset, for lack of a better word, that would let me even begin. I only understand behaviour, not the subjective experience behind it.

I think I don’t like to control other people. The reason I didn’t take to horseback riding. No one can avoid controlling others.

Well, I’ve been manipulated so many times now I think I absorbed it through osmosis.

In some countries, it’s valued as a social interaction. I was with a really good haggler in Nepal and sort of get it now. It was kind of a game.

I understand how people symbolize the behaviour, and the processes they will enact based on that symbolism. I would and do fail at initiating those moments of contact. Those who are quick on the uptake, shrewd students of character, can sometimes quickly pick up on my confusion, and if kindly will even change their tone and expectations. Usually this doesn’t happen though. I do understand deceit, patterns of misrepresentation. People swear that elements of this misrepresentation are innocent, harmless. I can’t figure out what those are supposed to be. It all looks the same to me.

I think in our society, honesty is valued more. We are the descendants of puritans. In my experience, treachery is valued more. Might makes right. Virtuous are those who can make circumstances conform to their desires. You are right if you can prove it, and you prove it by controlling against any other outcome. This is my experience. Am I out of touch?

No, there are many people who feel that way.

People claim honesty when all they actually express is truthfulness. The integrity of principles is not commonly expressed, or even present. Everybody lies, but they mean well.

I feel that in the past, virtues were valued more…but less and less with every year now. Virtue was never valued more than it is today. The pilgrims didn’t, the crusaders didn’t. History supports leadership of the ambitious over the compassionate.

My mother keeps saying that people were different when she was growing up, and I keep telling her that she was just blind to the corruption around her. Change blindness. It’s been proven, even in the lab, that we normalize conditions around us, create a sense of acceptability even if none is naturally present. There is a provable will to be at peace with the herd, but corruption is not the problem. Fear of transition is, puritanism, idealism, the will to preserve status. Denial of the will to live in favour of the will to power. The search for truth and justice is no such thing. It is just prettier words for the will to power. We feed our alphas on this.

“If lust and hate is the candy,
If blood and love tastes so sweet,
Then we give ’em what they want.”
10,000 Maniacs – Candy Everybody Wants

So I went off on a weird sermon, my apologies. I hope there was something useful in today’s class. I meant to illustrate status in the context of transitions, and the role the will has to play in that whole affair. If that didn’t happen maybe I will have to try again later.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~