I don’t feel that people hurt because they are unenlightened. I feel they are unenlightened because they do not hurt.
You aren’t conscious of your perceptual habits, and are only semi-conscious of your habits of attention. You are fully conscious of your habits of judgement, your mental faculties, your grasp of language, your deliberately learned skills, your memory of social exchanges, things like that.
Is instinct a combination of perception and attention? That’s exactly what it is, driven of course by our innate sense of our living well-being. That is the first rule we function with. That we are alive and want to live, and that life should be safe and secure. Not only with us but around us also, and it’s often the first rule we ignore or even break. We instinctively feel threatened when we hear pain cries from anything.
I ponder “should be.” The should isn’t a judgement, not an abstract philosophical argument. It stems from our bodies drive to homeostasis. It’s an imperative, a command in our genetic code.
Like we should be fed, and should be safe, etc. Got it. And should be physically upright, and not under water, etc.
But maybe we also feel empathy? We can in time feel empathy. Empathy is not an instinct, it’s a habit of attention, and more common in animals with more complex brains. Those early features we associate largely with mammals that allow pack or herd cohesion.
I feel upset rather than annoyed when I hear a kid having a tantrum, and feel bad for the parent too. If we listen from “the heart” or the inner mind if you will, we can tell the difference between pain or sorrow and a tantrum. If we listen from the “adult” mind then it’s just most expedient to treat everything like a tantrum.
When the parents are yelling at and threatening the kid, I always side with the kid. I always think to myself that the parent doesn’t have to argue with their child, and I find myself wondering how well they deal with adults also. Likely not very well so they bully the people they can get away with bullying.
The kid wanted a toy. He wasn’t hurt just really mad. The dad was being quite calm, if a little embarrassed, but not letting the kid take the toy that was not paid for. Ah, then he was handling things as well as could be hoped. That is exactly what was called for.
Ok, so let’s use that example. Would judgement have helped him there? If so how? Would being caught up in how very bad it was that the child did that, and being aware of how that “SHOULD NOT” ever happen again, serve him?
I’m not sure. I was thinking he was strong for not allowing the child to steal but not telling him to stop being angry either, just letting the boy calm down. Try telling ‘should not’ to a toddler.
What kind of thinking do we do on the normal conscious level?
Judgement. You could yell at the toddler and make them cry, but that’s all you would accomplish. Or you could just go pick up the toddler and carry them somewhere else, ending the problem right there, and as far as the very little one is concerned it was a moment’s frustration mixed with a hug.
That is more productive I would think. Actions not words for young kids.
It’s the same as dealing with a pet. Judging my cat for attacking my foot doesn’t help. Judging him might lead you to hit him when he can just as easily be distracted or otherwise neutralized.
I brandish a toy at him. It works. He doesn’t know what to do with the sudden change in focus of attention, and just withdraws instead of continuing to bite. These processes work with other animals as well as humans, but I have been trying to explore the conscious faculties.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.