Why is it we can be open with a lover, but not with a parent? I have learned not to tell my Mom anything. Actually, that’s simple. It is one of the dark truths I don’t talk much on, because people get really inflamed. Are you familiar with Freud or Jung? They both sort of glossed the issue of sexuality. I’m not suggesting anything that people might think I am, but there are primal forces that are in us, and our traditions don’t teach us to understand.
That threw my mom into severe fits of embarrassment. She turned beet red. She choked a bit, then said “Oh, he was very gentle.” I had asked what sex was like. Then she changed the subject so fast, flustered around with her dress. I thought “Wow, I really said something very wrong” and looked at her dumbfounded. Well, the issue starts very early. How often do we stop our children from touching themselves, or give them weird and awkward responses when they act on curiosity? Isn’t our first instinct contact with flesh? Isn’t that our very first desire?
I learned simple answers are all the kid wants. Hey, hey, happy button time. You don’t have to get graphic with a little kid. They are asking because they want to understand their own feelings. They aren’t prying into your sex life.
Not at all. Simple and straightforward without emotional baggage. That would change the world. Children at first like their bodies, and aren’t afraid of anyone else’s body. This first “sexuality”, for lack of a better term, is the literal root of everything else. Literally all of it. Spiritual inspiration could be called sexual, and spiritual traditions have all used some sort of sexual imagery, even Christianity. It sets the stage for it all. You don’t have to be told about the inner fire. You feel it even if no one ever teaches you anything, but it can go horribly wrong if your guides steer you wrong.
Connecting means conjoining means intercourse, physical, emotional, spiritual. This conversation is intellectual intercourse. We seek intercourse. What besides sex, if you make it profane, has the power to stain everything else?
Money? Power? Money = sex. Power = sex.
Just trying to talk of the sacred is to profane. In a sense this is true, because if you talk too much you are maybe not paying attention.
Religion then? What is the basis of religions corrupting power?
Fear? And fear of?
Total disconnection from grace. Sin, body, sex. Yes. In fact, people don’t really fear death directly. Their lives are often a living death, but they fear what nature already gives.
Pain, freedom, choice. They say they want heaven, then reject heaven. They say they want learning, then busily ignore the world. They say they want pleasure, but reject feeling. That is what people fear.
The fear of getting what you really want? Yes. People fear sex, and people don’t go fully into sex, because if they do it’s “death”.
I had a hard time getting over fear of sex, and being molested and raped as a girl did not help. Would you believe that your molester rapist wasn’t seeking sex? He feared it more than you do? I believe that yes, and they were terrified. I can smell their fear to this day. Thus he had to have a victim. Victims aren’t scary. Sex was too scary for this weakling, the coward, but this does go back to my point. You didn’t actually fear sex. You were impressed in the primal way, but the message was corrupted so you feared that corruption.
I was afraid of being so negatively controlled again. And you likely saw, and still see it in people. Is it in “bad guys”? “Bad guys” aren’t necessarily bad, and “good guys” aren’t necessarily good. You probably see good guys who have that mark don’t you? The knight in shining armour may be your villain, and the black knight the virtuous one, and you speak to the heart of it. There are those of us who are in truth, but on the “wrong side of the tracks”, and it is where we belong.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~