I myself find people fascinating. In a sense that makes me a romantic, as I become very invested in the experience of human lives and the trials of their relationships and existence. One of the things my wife notices about me, and even sometimes seems to make her feel a bit uncomfy, is how interesting I find her.

Maybe we need to bring this down to active experience. Can anyone name an action that is by itself romantic?

A kiss? Have you heard of the kiss of death? Or of a rapist kissing their victim? Kissing can be done with an evil intent. They have done it, but it isn’t gentle. It’s an act of humiliation, but the humiliation kiss has been done even outside of rape. Sometimes in times gone by, a man would forcibly kiss another as an insult. Making their “mark.”

I do know that there are some beings for whom kissing is taboo due to social custom. In some cultures kissing would be seen as “breath stealing”, and they just see it as very uncomfortable.

Suicide pact? Actually, in the case of suicide pacts and necrophilia, there is often an intimacy just before or after death. This has nothing to do with warmth of feeling or anything life affirmative.

Any act is not in and of itself indicative of any specific intention. Is this not your experience?

I once in an emotional snit in my early twenties touched a young woman’s face. She was about my age. She thought she felt tenderness and read it as I had “romantic” feelings for her. I did not, and I thought my words had made it abundantly clear. It was quite embarrassing really.

The fear of misinterpretation often limits our connection we make with people. It does indeed. My ex wife refused to let me kiss her. Refused much in the way of affection beyond the sexual act, and our exchanges were characterised by an old/sterile “expectation.” Expectation is not romance. In general, can you say you know someone who has romantic expectations and also seems to have genuine romance? The two seem mutually exclusive to me.

I think their expectations come from what they see in movies and books rather than what is really important to themselves. And they develop self confidence issues in romance, because their emotions aren’t imitating fiction. This is really hurtful of themselves and of their partners.

Romance has emotional overtones that do not make pragmatic sense? I would disagree that romance has emotional overtones. I would instead state that romance is the emotional overtones. It’s the willingness to have the emotional component of the experience of your relationships.

I notice that which we call romance does not seem to be logical. It is not logical, and it can’t be. In fact, seeking personal survival isn’t logical. Logic can’t make an argument for why you should continue to eat or protect yourself when threatened. Logic is by no means itself a survival skill, but quite the opposite. Many “geniuses” have self destructed very early.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~