Your inner life is your outer life. Your second life is your first life. Your fantasies are your reality.
Sincerity is the key to true strength. There is application in this. We have, at our hearts, principles on which we live. The violation of which would lead us to believe we would lose our minds, and in fact, we very often do. Thus military veterans who would have been good fathers and husbands, but can’t cope with the fact that they killed a slew of people, so lose all contact with their authentic self because they are hung up on being a “killer”.
Sincerity and thus authenticity really is that important, and the biggest block to that, the most awe inspiringly virulent lie, is that “I am a failure”.
Is that what shell shock is? Losing the authentic self? Yes, that and the trauma of having ones most primal instincts violated. We as living beings want to stay safe, and want those we care about to stay safe. War is insane.
I think that’s what they mean by “selling your soul”. Being insincere or counter to your true self? Exactly right.
You will fail. No matter what, you will fail. No matter what you intend to do, you will do it wrong. But you are not, I repeat NOT, a failure. The key to sincerity is to realize this. As I said earlier, the sincere person is not unfailing, they are unfaltering. When you recognize those values that run deepest into the core of your awareness, and you commit not to “doing things” as if they could be finished and you could be done with them, but when you accept that your life is these things. You don’t do things to live, but rather live to do as you in your deepest self know to be true to self. This is sincerity.
Some people think me an egotist for doing these classes. They assume I am trying to set myself up as a guru because I am trying to make myself special. In fact, I don’t have the time nor the energy for all of that. I am not serving some high ideal. I am not being spiritual or righteous. I have no desire in this other than to live according to my own deepest principles with or without validation.
Better to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission, and it’s only important to seek forgiveness when unintended harm was done. And even then you aren’t seeking it for yourself. To seek to be forgiven is insincere. You seek forgiveness to free the other who became entangled in what you did, nothing more or less, and if they won’t let go, then in your sincerity you do so and model it for them. You can hold someone in a problem by feeding into the belief that it’s an irreparable harm. This is not sincere. If all involved still live and breath, nothing irreparable was done, and even if they do not, then nothing remains to be “fixed” anyway.
A story from my own life. My maternal grandmother and her husband swore they would disown me if I should ever get involved in a “mixed race” relationship. I had no intention of doing so, but neither did my heart endorse their beliefs, and I did tell them that I saw no difference between peoples that justified their prejudice. Well, given time not only did I get involved in something like this, but I fathered a son. My grandmother would come to call me and ask why I never told her I had a son. I told her he was of mixed racial background. She said “so”, and then our conversation ended. I was quite angry at her hypocrisy. She would in a few months die, killed by complications arising from being injured in a car accident. Now, many would sink into an anguished guilt over not having reconciled with their grandmother over such an issue. Would that be sincere?
She was sincere in her belief, and you would not have expected anything else from her. Even if you didn’t agree with it. Actually, she was insincere. She swore she would disown me for that, then wanted to take me back into her life. My experience had shown me she was a cold hearted and cruel woman who placed the creed of her faith over any feelings she may have possibly had. Valued her prejudices over genuine real world flesh and blood experience. It was her right, but was I obligated to react to it?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.