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The system of ‘should’ doesn’t seem to have anyone who’s knowingly in charge. It’s sort of like a mental virus. Choice is power. Should is force and static.

Notion of Control in Self Development


Everybody these days dabbles in some self improvement reading, or almost everybody, and what do these books (or texts as the case may be) usually say to hook us?

“You will become a better person — because we’ll help you to get rich”? Oh, that’s quite common, yes.

Live the life you dream.

Find the one.

All common. They all suggest that with their advice you will be able to transform your whole life. Some say three weeks, some say thirty days, some don’t put a concrete time limit on it and just imply that if you keep to their to do list you will transform your life into an ideal fantasy. Is this fair to say about the majority of material out today?

I ask you, is your life a closed system that you can just reprogram and have things run like you intended?

No. As fascinating as any particular insight might be, it will remain a fantasy as long as it clings to a notion of control. What may I ask does anyone control here, really?

Not a heck of a lot, I’d say. We can manage to have influence in our lives, even maybe a great deal of influence, but is that control?

No, it’s more like gently nudging your life.

Everything we set up will play out, every plan we make will meet exceptions, every promise we make will have extenuating circumstances pop up around it. So why do we invest so much in the idea of being in charge, being in control?

It makes us feel secure. Ah yes, ultimately we are motivated by our feelings, and yet, does anyone these days know what they are feeling really? They swear they are being rational, logical, principled even. They swear that their behaviour isn’t personal, but only doing what is necessary. Is this not true?

I’ve noticed that people don’t respond with their true feelings but with what makes sense to them.

“Free will” is an illusion? Today’s topic is renovation, specifically spiritual renovation, and no, free will is not an illusion, but people aren’t very familiar with it. They don’t often exercise it.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive

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