Sadness isn’t itself a virtue. You know your heart best when it breaks, and you can come to see, that though you feel grief, your heart isn’t actually “broken”.
Has anyone made figured out their life yet?
What is that? To figure out the life? This is a good question. To believe you understand everything about your life and the world you live it in.
I think some people have. What is that like?
Sounds boring and predictable. Also stressful and delusional. There is no joy in it because there cannot be. You can not have your life figured out to a science and actually live it as well because every rule must be kept. Otherwise, your science of life breaks down and you get stuck in thinking you failed.
I think when you do, you have arrived at that lament of “Is this all there is?” That’s a really common question and to the degree you take life seriously, it will lose its importance. It is a good saying they have, “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never make it out alive.” Really, in the fullness of a life lived, what will any of the rules have meant without joy? Life does its best to show you how to live it, but people most often are too busy doing other things.
Joy is not the pursuit of happiness. It’s the recognition of love. If you pursue happiness, you will not know joy. Joy isn’t something you can have. It’s something that you live. Those things that most powerfully move us have that power because of love, and I am not talking a puritanical, idealistic love. I mean the raw feeling. The instinctive sense, that makes us feel compelled to do or say some things, that we mostly disengage from. It’s never farther away than this moment. It’s never farther away then stopping for just a moment and remembering to breath. We lose our joy right under our own noses.
If I may ask you friends, let’s name one thing we do just because something inside us demands it. Not because any outside authority says we must, but that one thing that despite pressure we have never given up. The one thing we do without an agenda, for no reason other than we must because it’s part of who we are.
Say exactly what is on my mind. Excellent. No matter if it’s childish. Perfect. That is part of your joy, your path. Your bliss, to risk using a buzzword.
Myself, I philosophize everything. I could explore a philosophy of tooth brushing.
But then I feel embarrassed for having done it if it upsets someone. That’s the problem. Shame. Wouldn’t it be a shame to have a life and not live it? If you lived in such a way that you never offended anyone, would you have lived your life?
I would not shame you for talking to your toothbrush. Excellent, nor would I shame you for speaking your mind. In fact, my wife is often taken aback by how much of what she says I embrace.
You can’t please everyone and if you try, you will displease everyone. That’s true.
And what about those that love to shame others. How do you handle them? You don’t handle them. They want you to handle them. Leave them to their own devices, to their own thinking. Unless they are a physical threat, they will get fed up in time, and you will have remained the one steady thing you might have in your life. What you fight weakens you. You will find this is universal. Whatever you take a stand against locks you away from anything you might stand for.
Part of my path of heart is speaking to peoples fear and pain. I don’t know as much about peoples happiness and inspiration, but whenever I find someone who is in pain or afraid, I feel a deep seated compulsion to be with them in that moment. To explore what they are thinking and feeling with them, and help them find where they intend to be at the end of that road.
I take no joy in their pain itself. My joy is in the release. Otherwise it’s just stagnation, and stagnation comes cheap in this world. In those moments of pain and fear, I can find that spark that makes them want to find the way back to joy. I can see it clearly. It’s beautiful, and in helping them across that dark tunnel, I find my way to it as well.
For me, joy is not “natural”. To use psychologist speak, my autism has a symptom of a mild chronic depression. I don’t experience the elation that others do. This in the conventional understanding at least. It doesn’t mean I have no joy, but my joy is darker. It’s just as much joy as those of you who can take pleasure in your senses. I assure you of that. I just experience it from the flip side.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.