Walls don’t always block. They can funnel, intensifying the flow of the river.
Regarding second chakra issues, if anyone is impatient it’s women. They often get so caught up in how they feel about his behaviour, they don’t realize he is patiently and continuously trying to do right. He will remain consistent until you actually get fed up with him. What men actually need to have happen, to get back in touch with the second chakra, is the thing women have forbidden themselves to do.
This is why husbands and wives should never do DIY together. Actually, they should. I strongly recommend it. Just don’t expect it to go quickly. Don’t think of it as a job to get done. It will in time, and better than either would have done on their own. Men have to go slower. Women have to go more steadily. Women overanalyze their second chakra. Men under analyze it.
Ladies. When you think your guy has overlooked something, you are right. But don’t assume he just didn’t notice, or that he is stupid. The part he didn’t process is the context. He may not know why the thing you think he overlooked was important. Just because he doesn’t automatically know, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to know, or can’t understand if you show him.
What is the thing women have forbidden themselves to do? Women have forbidden themselves from showing their genuine reaction to their partners. They have the prejudice that it’s beneath them. They are actually being insensitive to themselves and projecting that onto their partners.
Women actually try to imitate the emotions of men, subconsciously thinking that they are making themselves clear or making their point, and they will fail miserably. You want a hug, but in your behaviour you are actually picking a fight. Men, being creatures of the root who act on it immediately, will withdraw from a partner who they don’t actually want to fight with and hurt.
Like a child throwing a tantrum, because he wants moms attention? That’s not it at all. That’s a female prejudice. He isn’t being a spoiled little boy. He is managing his instincts the best he knows how. If you cried, he would know he should be sensitive.
The woman is being the child, but even her yelling at him is better than none? If you yell, he sees that in the only way he understands yelling. He sees it as you want a fight, which seems absolutely crazy to him.
It does annoy him when he shouts and I don’t. Yes, because that’s the mode of dealing he is in. Remember when I said earlier that the second charka can learn, but it can’t be taught? You cannot educate it?
But then he says, “Well, I’m not talking to you if you are going to yell at me.” He might not actually know he is yelling, or he may not know how to step down from frustration mode at the moment.
I need to be the model? Yes. Don’t tell him what you are feeling, show him, and don’t show him just the obvious act. Show it all. Show the deep parts of it too. He really isn’t stupid. I see superficial responses in women when expressing emotions even gently, like they are dumbing it down.
So adults should throw temper tantrums too, if that gets the message across? Actually, from time to time you should, not losing the child like empathy that goes with it. Ever notice a screaming, ranting little child will stop and look shocked when another child starts crying? You don’t have to make your point. You don’t have to be right. You have to be smart enough to be stupid.
I’ve done that myself with my niece. I pretend to cry and she stops. It works, because this is human nature. This is the same for everybody. You have to be smart enough to be stupid. You have to be wise enough to be foolish.
With one niece who has downs syndrome, the effect is even more strong on her. It’s very interesting. Indeed, it is. Autism is human nature without the filters. I’m an adult example of it. To speak from my own experience, I have had people tell me I am both the most sane person they have ever met, and also the most crazy. From my own point of view, I am just crazy, and I don’t bother to try to be anything else.
Your nature makes these classes work so well for us. You don’t hide or preach stuff, you just talk. I’m glad. I have no use for preaching. I can’t tolerate it myself.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.