What loneliness stems from is an error in the development of a sense of identity.
Let’s use a little science here. Recently, there has been a lot of talk about a very strange medical case. I woman who had her amygdala removed which is the part responsible for processing emotions. It doesn’t govern vital functions directly though it can influence them and does so powerfully. What do you think happened?
She turned Vulcan? If the dominant scientific model is right, she should have lost all capacity for empathy. She did not, and they do not know why. The opposite happened. She was even extensively tested. Her empathy became more accurate and pronounced. A sort of super empathy.
So maybe the rest of her brain was taking over the role of that one missing part? What they are now saying is that there are two components to empathy, and yes, they theorize that is what happened but they can’t say which or why.
The two components to empathy being cognitive and emotional. Emotionally, empathy comes naturally and has been proven to be present even in infants. Cognitive empathy is learned alongside learning to speak, and as much as we become able to put someones state of mind in socially acceptable words, does it ever really capture what anything really thinks and feels?
Probably not. This learning is a virus, a memetic parasite that induces a toxicity that seriously sickens the inner child thus naturally we lack a proper adaptive vitality and wind up living a half life.
As much as I talk about words and thoughts in class, I’m not actually talking about words or thoughts. I am talking about inner actions taken and stances adopted and held to; bad spiritual posture, bad spiritual diet. Your inner child, your genuine soul, should not eat the super glue as much as it is used to hold society together. Yes, I know the glue is fascinating, and elements of the collage are very attractive, but please, please do not eat the super glue.
We should start over. We have wonderful materials as ugly and dirty as they may seem to an adult mind. We have the mud of those secret feelings we hide. The mud we create when we cry because we are just too tired to handle any more social nonsense, or because we just can’t understand why we feel so alone. We also have the sticks and stones of all the ‘ya but’ moments in our lives, and having those broken just makes them even more useful for us. We can pick those ‘ya buts’ up and use that mud of deep feeling to create something inspired by our genuine mind, our genuine feelings. Have a life and society born of an authentic community of souls.
Don’t try to relate to your neighbour, be you in the presence of your neighbour. Don’t try to make anyone understand, be understanding to yourself. Other people can catch on much more easily than you have learned to give them credit for.
I often see my wife’s fears of the world in her behaviour very clearly. Her moments of self doubt or frightening confusion. This hasn’t damaged my relationship with her in any way. Really, it’s why it’s as deep as it is. I don’t posture for her. She doesn’t posture for me. In a way, we are just a little boy and little girl clinging to each other and we have learned how to play let’s pretend very well. Let’s pretend we understand what’s going on around us. Let’s pretend that we can succeed at this project we want so very much to do. We agree to the game and want very much to play fair with each other, and if one of us gets hurt while playing, we agree to take a time out and comfort the other. When we are ready, we keep playing, because we do genuinely like the game. It’s our favourite, and we are honestly very grateful that our friends play it with us.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.