Every moment empty of your presence is a moment made sterile and fallow.
Life is cooperative. When you become very tired and sick, what do you need most?
Sleep and medicine?
Rest from stress.
We need help. Cooperation, communication. The baby gets their lunch because they just cry. They don’t have the foggiest notion of demands. It’s a naturalistic realization. They accept fully that they need, that they hurt. The baby pulls up on the couch simply because they want. They want to see. They crawl simply because they want. They want to do. They even accept that they want. How many adults accept this? What adult thinking embraces any of this?
What happens between babyhood and adulthood that causes this? What happens? We start talking and being talked to. The problem is not in communication, it’s in the fact that we use talking to block communication. We assign rules to talking, develop expectations about talking. I personally don’t follow those rules. A PhD in psychiatry described my talking as being odd, “stylized”, and yet my ideas somehow seem to get across quite well. At least they do so given time, is this not so?
Stylized? How did they come up with that one? The way I break down my sentences. My language is a bit more building block than imitative.
Like William Shatner? In a sense, yes, and people find him very charismatic even if they don’t like his style.
Though he has claimed that he doesn’t really talk the way his impersonators do, he likes the impressions none the less. I have heard him talk at length, and it’s true his conversation is pretty normal. They are only aping him.
Kirk talked that way, not Shatner. Yes, I have seen him acting since and he doesn’t use that style. Actors, especially the more insightful ones are advanced communicators.
So yes, the reason we struggle to understand each other is we “ape” the communication of those around us to ourselves. We adopt a more simplified version of their way of communicating for the sake of convenience. We usually don’t really want to communicate any more deeply than that. Do you consciously simplify your communication very much? Would you volunteer to communicate like this for very long?
Travis hungry … Travis sleepy … Travis go walking … It would get old pretty quickly, don’t you think? But what do you hear really when you listen to people around you? Do you really hear, “Can I take your order?” with the put on smile to go with it, or do you hear “you … order”? You order. You interested service. You work. You shut up. You go home. You come here.
I do because I’ve worked in that sort of place. So you hear more than those? Because I promise people always communicate more than that.
And being talked to instead of talked over helps their efficiency. Workers want to help someone that is polite. Everything works better when you are actually communicating, but let’s take it back away from the interpersonal. Let’s look at the personal. Why do you get so tired? Are you tired because you communicated so much?
Stress, lack of sleep, partying too hard, or injured. But more likely, I felt unheard. You felt unheard. What would a day lived with you listening as much as possible be like, letting the world communicate with you and not worrying as much about communicating with it?
It would get tiring. Really? Why? Always holding back what you want to say.
Have you ever gotten tired because you spent too long listening to birds? Or the wind?
Well, they can put you to sleep. Never want to say anything to the birds?
I can fall asleep to it, listening to it. Fall asleep and awaken refreshed. They have found that a single week spent camping, where you hear a lot of nature sounds and wake to the sun, can reset your internal clock completely. Otherwise, that may never reset, but it’s not sound that tires you. No sound of any kind can tire you, can it?
I think it’s when you get numb to the sound. Overstimulated.
Because you don’t have to actively listen to the birds, like you do with a human. That notion of “have to” is interesting. I will risk getting a like adult here. First, have you ever had a working dream where you talked to people at work all through it?
Oh god, what a nightmare. Woke up tired didn’t you? Yes.
Ever have a really memorable erotic dream?
Yes. Did you wake up tired?
I woke up ‘energized’.
I wake up tired if the dream is interrupted.
I suspect any fatigue was superficial, and easily overcame with a moment to let your body relax again. You get so tired because you waste time, make noise. What you seek is intimacy, and yes, intimacy with everyone and everything, and I don’t mean sex but that feeling of organic understanding.
But is it true then that dreams are not literal? You dream of sex but that doesn’t mean you are craving it? Dreams are not literal, true, and that’s why dreams can seem so sexually obsessive on a superficial level. We crave intimacy that badly. You can’t get it through talking to people, which is actually talking at people. You have to be willing to let them in, feel the babies smile, feel the old ones tired frown, feel the happy pouncing playfulness of the kitten.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.