Relativity is inherently the denial of realism. It denies shared experience.
Someone who is quite depressed is so because of how he is ‘thinking’ about the situation. He is in that. He is causing his distress and it is not the situation itself. What could be said further is to ask him how he feels when he isn’t thinking about what has him depressed. Unless his condition is clinical, it isn’t constant. Help him see that he can choose that, and also help him see that by choosing that he will deal differently with the depressing issue. At first it might have to be an action. Finding a quiet spot for example, but when he sees:
- He isn’t the depressed emotion.
- He doesn’t have to go there even though the situation seems to justify it.
- He can be happy anyway, and by being happy maybe even see a solution to his problem.
It might be the first choice he will have truly made in his life.
Some must first choose to stop the fog of alcohol. A case of not choosing from not really knowing, but we teach our young that knowing is thinking and that the thinkers know the most stuff. In my experience, thinkers can be the ones who make the least choices.
People say that a myriad of things may or may not contribute to a person’s depressed response, and a decision sincerely meant to be happy will not fix things. But I don’t speak of decision, I speak of choice. I agree they can’t just decide. There is no committee in anyone’s head that can decide, and then it becomes the law of the soul. Quite the opposite. The choice I spoke of was knowing that what you desire is in you. Knowing what it really is, and that it isn’t anchored to anything outside of you. Nor is your pain, or your fear.
The fighting and struggle is one way. I know that way. I’m disabled. Literally the most fundamental options in life are big deliberations for me, so I have learned a lot of how the fighting your way through it affects you. But the healing doesn’t come from the fighting, it comes from what you learn of yourself as you fight. The acting with a whole heart, if not a whole mind.
Struggle can be the sickness one is struggling to heal. So the struggle itself is maybe not how one heals? Maybe its something more about the person than the struggle? Any event can be a learning opportunity or just a torment, but the choice I spoke of is still made. Those who see themselves poorly, see the world poorly. If they see the world poorly, they see themselves poorly.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.