The alienation of sudden death tends to warp the mind of the recently departed. The desire for the life they lost is heartbreaking, maddening even.
I’m not praising group think, but even if you aren’t into group think, you are still a part of that. You are a very important part, and the individualist is giving us something huge.
So see your connections. They are your stressors and they are also your strength. Don’t “fix it.” What makes you think you can anyway? Has anyone every really fixed anything?
I think fixing just means getting the scale balanced. Yes, it was never not fixed. Nothing actually breaks. You are just acting on the greater way. You are a part of what you fix, and you are a part of what you don’t think needs fixing. Does your heart fix your brain by pumping blood to it? When you accept the greater way there is no destruction, so nothing needs fixing. There is endurance and there is change, and what is scary there?
I never try to ‘fix’ someone, I just give them the room to be. The best way to supposedly fix someone is to let them be them in the presence of you being you. For those who practice spiritual healing techniques even of the body, that’s what you are doing there anyway. You let them hurt and you let yourself not hurt, and then you see the connection and give your energy freely as all things naturally do anyway. The sun doesn’t decide you can’t have heat, but people often decide who can have their attention, or who can be in their presence. What they are above, and what is beneath them. This is uniquely human, and very stressful when you learn it’s a lie.
Some of that is a good. Allocating your energies to others wisely? Yes, you always choose. So realize you are choosing, and realize even the things you choose not to focus on… Well, they give you something too. Don’t dwell on or study your problems. This just makes you better at your problems. Even Einstein said that a problem cannot be solved in the same state of mind you became aware of it in.
Maybe that is why answers pop into your head and you forget what the question was? It is why and it all works out, but not while you are worrying about what to do or busy being good at anything. It doesn’t matter what you think you’re good at, or what you think you know. In any given situation there is something you yourself can do, and the more you try the worse off you are.
I would like to offer an exercise. Everyone try to move your right foot. Just try. Don’t do it, just try. Did you do anything? Maybe we can not worry about trying anything, and just do what it occurs to us to do and be ok with that. A little child doesn’t try to solve anyone’s problems when the other is crying do they? When a child feels sympathy with a crying person, they don’t think of what they know to do. They often just hug or maybe smile. Their instincts are better than any supposed knowing, and it can be said to be Gods wisdom. We grown ups have it too. We are just busy being big and having big problems.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.