If you are feeling lonely, it’s because you don’t feel present as what you are, or accepted for what you are.
Gratitude is an often misunderstood attitude. It is implying the “neediness” of the recipient, in many peoples minds.
Gratitude is sort of an awkward english word. Gratitude really could be considered present centered love. It has countless objects, but I am not certain it really needs any object. Gratitude is a necessary state of peace with the flow of life.
We tend to be in one of two broad categories of state, gratitude or resentment. Resistance. It’s my experience that resistance gives you nothing but more things to resist. I know I have resisted much in my life.
Attachment = pain. That is true, but I think it’s tricky wording. Attachment is self negation. If you become attached to another you negate yourself in connection with that other. Yes, this results in inevitable pain.
You are not here to be other than you are. One practicing gratitude would discourage any act of self negation in another. You cannot see the world with the eyes of gratitude and insist that another be different just to satisfy you. That’s resentment, not love.
You have to let go. Yes. Clinging comes from the idea that you can loose. The idea of losing comes from the idea you can gain. If we define life by gain and loss, it seems a chaotic hell with no promise of peace ever, and it’s all because of the fear that we will loose. I think that is the root of ego.
No fear = no pain. That is supported by experience. From my own and what I have seen in others, when hurt happens, it’s just experience when it isn’t coupled with fear. If I accidentally cut my hand it doesn’t feel good, but it isn’t bad either. It’s just attention getting. It is only bad when fear cripples me.
Or an infection gets in the wound. But even that is just a circumstance. Not bad unless you have taken leave of your senses and won’t attend to it. Fear tends to make us take leave of our senses. The Sage Patanjali said that the core act of ignorance is mistaken identification. People spend time worrying about ego, and in fact ego doesn’t exist.
Will fear will always be with us? Fear as humans know it does not need to be. What we start with is the two instinctive fears, falling and loud noises. These aren’t fears, but just defense instincts. Fear by itself does not save lives, right understanding of fear can. Fear is not an enemy. It can make you act, or make you freeze. What it does is according to you.
So fear is good? Sometimes. Fear isn’t bad, but fixation on fear. Attachment yet again. Fear left by itself is just a natural reaction and doesn’t rule us.
So what can we do to not fix on fear? It’s understanding what fear is. It’s a stimuli, like hunger, and like any such stimuli, people do get fixated on it from a lack of awareness. Hunger is a real stimuli.
Minds and souls are meant to move. Life is meant to move. Pick up even a domestic animal, if it tolerates being held still for a little while it won’t be very long, because it hurts. Even if it doesn’t hurt flesh, it does hurt. If we could cease all moving, the brain would form no folds, the heart would not beat, the stomach could not work, motion/emotion is life. The most grounding action we can take is to be grateful for our change. Internal, and also external.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.