There is a coherence beyond neural linkage. Something that persists beyond brain damage. That knows an ‘I’ without defining ‘I’. It is the bit which is left when chat stops in meditation. That is the true self.
Individual awareness. Most people usually have a pretty firm conviction that they have it, but if you ask them who they are, can they list anything other than a set of relationships or activities?
I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister… No, I guess you can’t.
People even fight to establish their individuality in the face of these circumstances. They resent being the wife or husband, sister or brother. They resent what it supposedly means about them. Parents typically express shame at the behaviour of their children, something they themselves didn’t personally do.
Even the loner is alone because they don’t have people around them. Actually, the loner is always crowded. The loner lives with a set of attitudes about life and people that can often choke their life.
They don’t want labels stamped on them of what those titles mean, like they have to conform to certain criteria. Not wanting those labels is perhaps a legitimate concern, but how do we go about finding this thing that people seem to want enough to fight for it?
Examine our self interests? Well, people are not sufficiently interested in what the self is. They can give you a long list of what the self is not, usually professing innocence of some behaviour they consider to be a particular no-no, but is that any way to find ones individual awareness?
Knowing the nots still leaves you feeling empty. Indeed, that is so.
It is not easy to realise that you are allowed to make changes to the rules of a certain relationship. But you are. There is one way, that not only may you make changes to a relationship, but if need be it’s even morally necessary.
When self changes, all the selfs relationships change, and self changes doesn’t it? Even perhaps when we don’t want it to.
Divorce can be as empowering as it can be devastating. It can. For me it was just devastating, because at that time in my life I was sincerely ready. It was a hard lesson learned which would go on to take me about a decade. That I don’t play on the same ball field as others. I don’t play well with others. Now I am with my current wife, but she did something different, something no one else has ever done before in my life. She didn’t coax me into joining her. She joined me. She was present on my playing field, and because she made that choice, I couldn’t help but be moved to get to know her. She proved to be exactly what she presented herself to be, but enough about me, though it is relevant.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.