Anyone care to share an experience they have had with shame?
Giving the wrong answer in school. Teacher made a big deal of the answer rather than just move on. And obviously believed that was necessary, but was it? Would you have learned without the histrionics?
Probably participated more. So yes, but learning is a “moral” issue. Our schools were founded on that very concept. They were even originally churches. If you learned to read, it was from a priest / minister / whatever, and some simple math and writing perhaps though nothing very complex.
This reminds me of what it felt like to be a slow learner. But now, knowing I’m a slow learner, I just tell people it takes me awhile and I admit to them I don’t retain what I just studied. I say it without shame. Excellent. You own your learning way. This is the essence of being a heretic. The original meaning of heretic was one who had religious ideas not advocated by the church. This was seen as a morally reprehensible thing, but the word religion itself comes from the latin religio meaning a body of practice. So the spirit of a heretic is owning your practice and your awareness. Saying and meaning “I chose” and “I feel” as well as “I think”. What are your thoughts of these shameless statements friends?
Funny how a bit of fear crops up to be shameless. Division from the herd I guess? You fear public censure, but do you avoid it by keeping the rule of shame? Has anyone avoided public sanction at any time by “following the rules”? Keeping a low profile. Being good. If you be a good boy or girl, are you actually rewarded? Are you happy?
Well, we do by following traffic laws? Traffic laws are functional rules. They aren’t about shame so much as, “I don’t want to die and I don’t want to kill anyone else.”
Do everything right. I think more and more people are waking up to the fact that doing everything right does not have it’s benefits. I’ve been thinking how people doing it wrong can be just as effective as me with less stress. I do it wrong all the time. This is why they call me disabled. Yet somehow I manage, and I’m even happier than many people. It is freeing.
If it gets done how wrong could it be? Yes, I don’t actually bother with right way versus wrong way. I focus on my way and how I can explore and develop it. I like learning new ways to give myself more options, but I learn those by “doing it wrong”. Like these talks, I’m not “skilled” and I don’t even want to be. Skilled people are dead, and they offer only static communication. I seem good at speaking because I’m not afraid of doing it wrong. I just talk and whatever I say is what I said. When another talks I listen and whatever they say is what they said, and then I ask them questions which is doing “understanding” wrong, isn’t it?
I rehearse nothing. I prefer breathing, thank you very much. I don’t like having my head space that cramped. Even Einstein said “Never memorize what you can look up”, among other “anti-intellectual” things.
You are shameless. 😛 Ah yes, I’m shameless, and take great joy in scandalizing my wife also. Not disrespecting her, they aren’t the same, but I put my “wrong thinking / doing” right out there for her to see.
So, do I have any use for shame? Not a bit. Not even to shame my wife. Nor do I have any use for guilt. If my wife were to do something I saw as a violation of my trust, I would first consider her action and its actual impact, because she is my equal and worthy of the same consideration I would want from her. Then if it is still a problem between us, I’d discuss working it out with her. No guilt, just addressing what upset me and why, and giving her full say in how that goes in the future. Where does guilt belong here?
If I have a problem and my wife loves me and wants to help with my problems, then I don’t need to blame or be blamed. If she has a problem and I love her and want to help her with her problems, likewise I need not be blamed or to blame her.
So of what use is shame?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~