There are no coincidences. The line of cause and affect may be very abstract, but it is there.
Joy Of Sex
I stopped jumping rope when I started growing into a busty woman. It’s hard to find a strong enough sports bra for skipping. Puberty took a lot of joy from being a kid away. How you and your parents and peers reacted to puberty did that, not puberty itself.
Yes. My folks were really negative when it came to me and boys. Pointlessly so. A child well raised will not fall into a lot of the adolescent sexuality issues. Young girls use sex as a form of approval seeking when they otherwise feel condemned and ashamed. Otherwise, a certain natural xenophobia sets in during that time, no shame required. It’s natural to be hesitant about the unfamiliar, but hesitancy need not be defiance or opposition. It doesn’t have to get twisted into pointless sexual repression. As long as you aren’t overcompensating and just indulging your natural appetites, then this is wonderful.
People do heal from things. There can be a joy of sex, a joy of cooking, a joy of gaming, or computing , or horse poo shovelling.
My mother would make a face whenever sex was mentioned, like it was something to be ashamed of. So for a while I thought that it wasn’t appropriate, and that females didn’t enjoy it like men do. Yes. The idea that women don’t like sex makes men feel guilty, which can make men frustrated and ashamed and even somewhat deranged in extreme cases.
I think there is no such thing as taboo. Everything is open for discussion. That old Arab aphorism fits here, “Nothing is true, everything is permitted.” What that means is not what people think it means. There is a term in carpentry when they speak of something being aligned as being “true”, meaning it’s stable and fixed. It’s that same thing they mean when you hear the phrase “true north”, and the assertion that everything is permitted is the recognition that life and situations are variable. Sex with a poor partner is bad. Sex with a good partner is wonderful. That is perhaps the highest truth I know, that no truth is a fixed entity.
That’s why so many girls feel let down when they give their virginity to a guy just because he’s cute or popular. Cute and popular shows an ignorance of sexuality, lack of self awareness.
Shall we be blunt? When you are pursuing anything, the truth of what it is you pursue and why you are pursuing it is in you. People pursue sex for catharsis / orgasm. They pervert that when they think they are not perverting it. When they pursue a partner that thinking tells them they should prefer, or insist on being seen as an object of attraction rather than acting on their attraction.
If orgasm is not reached they see it as bad sex even if they really had a nice experience. That’s part of the delusion. They think of body without mind. They think they can satisfy their body and ignore their mind. You haven’t really orgasmed until it includes catharsis.
I think the sense of closeness and intimacy is what many people crave. That is a part of it. Gentle intimate contact without rules. People want to have their bodies accepted, and being in sexual embrace is about as free as you can get.
The connection goes beyond the sex organs. Not just their bodies, their entire being. It’s the ultimate form of approval. This brings me to another point. The dirty little secret. Joy is sex. As much as your body has a gender, as much as your flesh and blood needs to eat and breath.
That is why I find nudist places so freeing. Everyone on a nudist beach pretty much accepts everyone else and sex isn’t part of the game or is frowned upon if it is. They don’t want head trips, that is true. At any given time, I am engaged in foreplay to be honest.
Flirting is foreplay. Saying hello is foreplay. Yes.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.