What loneliness stems from is an error in the development of a sense of identity.
What is your nature? Some have said your nature is God. To use quantum theory, your nature is the observer. Have you noticed that sometimes when you’re really upset, you sort of unplug from the situation, and are just sort of an “observer”? People have noticed this even in “episodes” or near death experiences (NDEs).
Perhaps your soul sets up conditions to help you learn in your life? Your soul can set up preconditions, and they follow a wisdom that seems out of context when you are thinking yourself as alive here. You can always tell if it’s a soul precondition though. It has power, a call. It is always congruous to your deepest self like a missing puzzle piece that fits your soul perfectly. The rest is thinking and experimentation and is good too. It serves its purpose.
Maybe our difficulties are preset by our souls? Not all. When it set preconditions, it also chose this dynamic of the dialogue here. The variables are necessary to the process.
Some Buddhists would describe it as the first arrow happens, the second and following arrows you create. Exactly. If in keeping with the first intention, then all your other intentions will be harmonious.
It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever find that missing piece of the puzzle. The missing piece can’t be searched for. It can only be found. The soul is the mirror. Reflection is divine revelation, and self knowledge will change your view of your whole life. Even now in the grasp of doubt, your souls perception is operating. It’s making you aware that you aren’t as in harmony with original intention as you want to be.
I am resisting. And even resistance serves your souls purpose. Resistance highlights original intention in the contrast you are creating. It’s a sign to look deeper.
That’s exactly what I’m resisting, my original purpose. Well, it could be one of the things important for you to learn is your tolerance of that stress. How long can you resist, and is there a reason that is worth that stress? These may be very important questions for you.
I’m like that guy in ‘The Matrix’ who want’s the delusional world. Cypher, but even Neo was taken aback and not at first accepting of his purpose or original intention. The oracle did give him the grand revelation though. He was thinking he had a destiny, and was shocked when the oracle told him it was up to him. Then when he asked why he didn’t know what to do, she said that he had already made the choice. His issue wasn’t about making the choice, it was about understanding why. Why = self knowledge/inner nature.
On the list of things ‘I learned in the working world’ is “we get half way through life before we learn it’s a do it yourself thing.” Very true. If you were doing it, you did choose to do it.
I know my soul has chosen or ‘pre-set’ my purpose. It is very strong, and seems unbreakable. It is basically, but you can avoid it for an entire lifetime. Your pattern of resistance is probably very clear.
But I suffer. Yes, fight yourself and you lose. What matters most is not where you are going. That is actually trying to push the river. Your destiny is not a destination. What matters is how you start, because that is how you will finish, and there will be many cycles.
I ask you to act and speak from the gut, but I also ask what you are thinking. Definition is like the sword of Damocles, and many “spiritual” types refuse to do it. They do claim to seek truth, but reject the cutting. You can understand things in seemingly two ways, either by what it is which usually is what scares people, or by negative definition or what it is not, but people resist doing that even while being aware of it. You are aware of what your purpose is not, and since that awareness will not go away, why not understand it? Would it serve your purpose any less?
One part of the hermetic oath; to know, to dare, to be silent. To know is to be where you are. To dare is to speak knowing your world will change. To be silent is to abstain from what I have heard is the mating call of the ignorant, “I know but…” People are forever saying “ya but” aren’t they? What does that serve?
Does it need to serve? Well, do you feel at ease resisting your purpose? People resist questions because they want to know the answer first. Learn to just speak and answer. You may flip on the answer many times, but movement is better then not. Many of life’s questions, if not all, are paradoxical. Shiva’s dance brings destruction and from death new creation. The dharma wheel isn’t evil.
To use a theistic model, until the rise of empires all deities had a beneficent and a destructive face. Even among Christians it was said the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. If one must be bhakti (devotional) about things then destruction is still not to be feared. The devoted one dances in fire knowing the way is as God ordained it. Even Christian baptism is symbolic death, and no new life without first the spiritual death. People can have their prejudices, or they can have understanding. Prejudices = ego or judgements of self. You can have judgments of self, or knowledge of self.
The soul, like God, is to be experienced, and in that way known. Awareness does go beyond the thinking mind. It is not experienced if merely thought about, and gets masked that way. This was never the thinking minds purpose anyway. You have awareness beyond thought, but maybe it reminds people of death too much. I don’t know.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.