My own medical / psychiatric diagnosis is the closest thing we currently understand to someone locked into their own world. Autism, if you look up the definition, is defined simply as self-absorption. I can tell you why I appear to others to have isolated myself like that.
Remember I said earlier that the forces acting to bring you into existence won’t let you shut yourself off? For me, these energies have such an intense impact that they compromise those functions that appear to others to be a self. Much of human behaviour relies on the fact that you have a self that wants and feels and can distinguish itself from other people and things. To want to speak to someone, you have to be aware that you are there and that there is another person to speak to.
For myself, my awareness gets so flooded with sensation and memories of sensation that… Well, in my worst moments reality ceases to make sense really at all. I lose my reference point so outsiders see that as me shutting them out. If any person is shut out, it’s me from my own life.
So it’s like you are being zapped every time you feel an intense emotion and you need to shut down to protect yourself from wearing out? If I have a shut down, it usually allows my senses to clear some. Things come back into focus a bit more, and I can start taking normal actions again. So that is the extreme of integrity compromise.
Have you tried a sensory deprivation chamber? I have not yet. My nervous system itself behaves much as I have read that environment to act, spontaneous mental activity, odd emotional shifts. The varieties of psychedelic experience are quite normal to me, especially during the seizures I used to have as a juvenile.
I read an account of a guy who tried it. He said it was like he had no body anymore and he was seeing out of his chest. The awareness of the body is a hallucination produced by the brain. My brain doesn’t make that experience very well. I have minimal body awareness often to my own embarrassment. I have a hand more as an idea than a sense of flesh and blood. I can improve my coordination through concentration practice. This even sharpens my senses a bit. They become a bit more grounded, but otherwise it just doesn’t really happen naturally.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~