Feeling you have to do what you can’t, prevents you from doing what you can.
Are you the real authority on you? Is anyone here the real authority on themselves, or is that discouraged? Are you busy “playing house” or rather “playing life”? Are you happy? Most parents say they want their children to grow up happy and busily deny happiness, because it isn’t responsible. I acknowledge being response able. I am able to respond to anything in my life, and sometimes I can even initiate.
If I did what I wanted it would be called immature, not thinking of anyone else but me? When I am thinking of myself, I often buy a gift for my son or another loved one. I feel uplifted by giving. Of the few times I can take initiative in my life I do. If I won’t then will my son?
Giving is easier than receiving? Yes, receiving can be hard. I find it easier to receive from my little boy. He has no complicates. He has decided I need to eat, or I need a flower. I accept that. Sometimes that I need a bug.
We can learn to receive from our children. Accept love and nurturing. They do it quite naturally. What if we grown ups could receive? What could we then give? What would our children’s lives be like? We pick our own chains, and we can put aside the chains. We did choose even if we were poorly informed.
Simple acknowledgement goes a long way. Yes. I had a visit with my son yesterday. He seemed to want most for me to be looking at him, and he beamed an almost constant smile at me. So I made silly faces and he laughed. Do I need to be grown up more than I need that?
He just wants you to ‘be’. I accept his invitation. I am present with him, and he learns from my presence. He knows his Daddy will help him when he’s hungry, or bored, or lonely. Am I not “grown up”? I will keep him away from danger. He’s had some close scares, but his Daddy stopped him anyway. He trusts that now.
There is so much stuff they tell parents to worry about, don’t let them do this, watch out for that. Yes. If you are in genuine relationship with your child, what else do you need to know that they won’t show you? Why aren’t we likewise with ourselves? How can we be genuine and gentle with our children when we won’t with ourselves?
So even with the first baby, we aren’t just clueless? If you are aware of the mystery of it all, then you are many steps ahead. You will choose from a different view rather than slipping into parenting drone. Are you a drone in self care?
It’s comforting that you don’t have to be up on all the books and know how. The book won’t give your child a comforting hug. It won’t love your child.
Our children give us the opportunity to love unconditionally. Yes, and we can choose it, or just see it as another job. Since when are people jobs? Oh ya, that’s right, when we “grew up”.
When you have to carpool 8 of them? The driving is a task, perhaps a job, but circumstantial isn’t it? Is any one task so much that we can’t do it? It isn’t what you do as much as why you do it, is this not so? If it is true then why when our child asks “why” do we so often refuse to answer? Why when the notion of why occurs to us about our own actions do we dismiss it? Is it true that “Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die”?
I love it when kids are in that “why” stage. It can be very enlightening for us, if we choose to join them there. Why wouldn’t we?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.