The best searching will be done alone even in a marketplace of teachers, because they can’t sell you your own soul. When you see your own path clearly, then you see life differently.
I have to ask, why do you want to die?
Because I can. Feel there is merit in it? Dying because you can?
To die this moment, no…
So I can be reincarnated.
So I can continue to be independent and not become dependent or a burden on others. Sometimes, enough is enough.
For most, if you trust my experience in this, dying is little different than a deep vivid sleep and not much more useful. That domain of sleep isn’t even far removed from our own existence. This is part of what makes souls cling to it. They can still feel the life rhythms of the world they once knew even if not as strong as before.
I hate having to start anything over. Reincarnation is like, ‘Damn, the game reset!’ Well, there is one overall purpose, and living or dead everyone seems to struggle with it. The riddle of Lethe.
Forgetfulness? The path of forgetting. It isn’t natural. This is why mystics like the Buddha felt the conviction they did in their enlightenment. They describe enlightenment as being one with all things, all beings. Sensitive and responsive to everything, judging nothing. Assigning no need to anything, denying meaning to nothing. This is why they were attracted to asceticism. To distance themselves from the need message, the constant hypnotic suggestion that blinds us so effectively, but there is more to enlightenment than this, much more, and it was never supposed to stop there, nor does it necessitate dying.
Why does dying matter? Why would returning matter? You will face this question even if you don’t answer it in life, and it’s universal. It goes all the way back to ancient Africa. The Egyptian questions amount to this basic sort of question.
I think it just means we are part of a cycle. If a cycle has no heart, no centre, is it still a cycle? Is a wheel still a wheel if there is no substance in between its circumference?
Was there heart behind the creation of life in the first place? There is only heart behind life. Life is all heart. The first structure is a heart. Our actual blood pump is an adaption of a simpler structure found in simpler organisms. For these simpler organisms circulation is handled by the stomach. We just have the privilege of a dedicated heart.
Bottom line: heart = life. Actually, sensitivity = life. The first sense was feeling.
Compassion = life? Compression = compassion. Every function in our nervous system is a modification of our sense of touch. Every part of us needs a hug.
Feelings triggers a chain of other senses.
But they are also discovering, as neuroscience is taking off so quickly, that consciousness is not confined to humans. They are finding it among insects, actual complex consciousness. Cockroaches are herd animals and very communicative. They even have sophisticated memories.
My point is, in the beginning there was I, and I wanted. In everything there is I, and everything desires. Everything is sensitive. Everything is plugged into the life around it. That spider wants things.
But the “I” is infinite. Connected to everything else. All forms of I are infinite, but I is not unitary. It’s quantum, discrete, no singular I, no singular desire. A vast network of something we have no word for, something that precedes and transcends I, but the point is, that spider wants things, and they actually have nothing to do with you. The projection that humans substitute for memory needs to be refurbished, reverse engineered, because it is based on innate and valuable faculties that have just been vandalized, is all.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.