The great dharma wheel is nothing more complex than that. The big mystery in life is that there is no mystery.
I have made all my best friends in moments when I thought I was being the biggest jerk. Because in the moments when I was being the biggest jerk, I wasn’t trying to “control” myself. I wasn’t following any rules, only doing what I had to. Acting on my real values and not a set of ideas. When you think “omg! I have no choice!” That’s actually the only time when you are making a choice. The rest is delusion.
The things that come up that either form or break friendships is not being right or wrong, but a refusal to allow right and wrong to be what they are. Fictions. In any given interaction, everyone is right and everyone is wrong. So if this is true, what should you do?
Anything you want? Actually, anything you are. Don’t do what you think, do what you know. Be who you are, don’t do what you plan. Your plan is half baked anyway. Everyone plans poorly. The closest thing to solid planning anyone can do is self confrontation.
If this was heaven or hell and your final destination, everything is going to be this way from now on, eternally, how would you live? It’s been said in a lot of ways that hell is other people. Well, so is heaven.
I’m getting some real shakes about the life I’m living now. That is yours to confront. It can take real courage to face it and admit who you are.
My son called me Papa and I took a short while to register it meant me. I had just woken up, but that was enough to show me how much I look away. Maybe it’s time to look there. That may be the solace you have been seeking. That little boys eyes may hold all the truth you need right now.
When you embrace life itself as a virtue, then you can find value you never knew existed. The reason you didn’t know is simply because you weren’t looking. Too busy being reasonable to be response able. Too busy thinking to actually pay attention.
Have you really hugged anyone yet in your life? It’s a wonderful experience hugging. It can make you actually want to live. In that moment, you can remember why you breath, if you let yourself. You can’t make yourself. Because let’s be honest, when have you ever successfully made yourself do anything?
I will conclude with this thought. Be a friend to yourself and you will be a friend to everyone else. It’s unavoidable.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.