You can nuture the spirit behind any circumstance and like anything nurtured it grows closer to you. It creates more events of its kind.
Romance isn’t a nebulous sensation you feel sometimes. Romance is a status of a relationship, and actually any relationship can be at a point of “romance.” I was even looking at a picture that had the main character from House and his best male friend on it. It said “Bromance…1 day they’ll admit it.”
What is romance really? It’s a quality of engagement. It’s a level of being involved with a person, place, or thing so much that you are immersed in it. You are “in love” or whatever emotion you have for the object of your involvement.
And yes, this may sound very dry. I felt I needed to get down to the nuts and bolts so to speak, because the other nonsense causes only hurt, really.
People get in serious trouble with the fantasy? It is a hugely mind twisting delusion. Now does this mean romance is shallow? Actually, very far from it. The stereotypical fantasies are shallow. Usually very little reflected on and leaving people ill equipped to meet their social/emotional/sexual desires.
Typical ideas of romance are rarely realized long term. Nor can they be, because they are not based on any actual self knowledge.
People also use it to manipulate. Give someone a bunch of roses and provide a delusion of romance, but still not treat them well. They make of romance a mask to hide emotional apathy. I myself never “go through the motions.”
Or the thinking that showering someone with gifts is a substitute for simply being present in their life. Also very true.
To apply romance to friendships. You can become very close to a very dear friend. This is
basically a romance, just not a sexual one. With my dear friends, I can become very close, very involved with their lives, outer and sometimes inner.
The term romance has been applied to more than relationships. The old romance novels were adventures. Indeed they were, and the driving element of those romances were the qualities of moral virtue and conviction explored. Romance isn’t a static state. Every facet of romance is an adventure.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.