Thoughts come from people, people don’t come from thoughts.
I heard this quote the other day and it really opened my eyes to understand love a little better. Love is not some magical thing that will overwhelm everything in its path. Love can only be allowed in, and it can only be allowed in to the degree that you are willing to be known. What does that mean?
Well, let’s say that you have a significant other who tells you they love you. You know they mean it and you accept it, but you feel you cannot be truly loved because ‘if they only knew what I did last night, last year, four years ago, they wouldn’t say that.’ Because you are hiding something, you cannot accept the love that has been offered, no matter how sincere or deep it is.
That is why honesty is so important in relationships. If you are hiding something you will always have this kernel of doubt. This niggling idea that if they only knew something about you they wouldn’t love you any more or at least not as much.
Then there is another side of love. It is not always a good idea to love everyone. Just like you would not date every person you came across, you also shouldn’t love every person you come across. That is not a popular idea, because in society today love and tolerance are the key words to love by. However, love without boundaries can hurt – both you and the person being loved.
Love, then, should be bound by two things – discernment and truth. In order to love someone, you need to discern their motivations and make sure they are being truthful. It can be that they are simply ignorant, which then you can educate them before loving them. It may be, on the other hand, that they are deceitful, in which case you are doubly thankful you didn’t break your heart by loving them.
I am not talking solely about romantic love. Friendship and even neighborly love should work the same way. To love indiscriminately is damaging. Just like a river is beautiful and life-giving as long as it stays in its banks, so love is wonderful as long as it stays within its boundaries.
Boundaries of love – discernment and truth.
Kelsey is the editor in chief for findananny. She loves to write article and ideas that parents & nannies would be interested in hearing. She helps society on giving information about nannies through nanny agency. She is a professional writer & loves writing on anything.