If you are feeling lonely, it’s because you don’t feel present as what you are, or accepted for what you are.
To overcome, some require some rather dramatic stuff. Familiar at all with any of the mystery cults? They are called cults only because some insights could only be shared when the disciple was ready. Like the elusian mysteries, notice the psychodrama? They called them morality plays later. It is very similar to shamanic dancing and ritual. Very free form and instinctive. They do work on people, but only one of two ways. Either because you steeped yourself in doctrine for so long the symbols of the initiation have very clear meaning for you, or because the symbols themselves are very personal to you.
Now in Tantra practise what you may have encountered and maybe so far shied away from, is spontaneously to be overtaken by a scenario. It’s the terrain you are exploring. In the tantric union you aren’t just embracing the carnal body. It’s a degree of intimacy that even without the suggestion of sex can be terrifying for others. Others don’t even want to hear in part, or might misinterpret the gross manifestation of what arose during union. The physical side of the spiritual event has a very real spiritual impact. You can even use power gained during union for other purposes, becoming more spiritually powerful and aware.
You might want to consider exploring World of Warcraft (WoW) as well. It sounds crazy, but it’s amazing how you can find an inner self in the character you choose. Are you familiar with the use of ceremonial masks in shamanism? Each mask in a group ceremonial rite is a totem and the role of that shaman. They don the mask because of what they learned of their totem, but it can work in reverse. You can discover yourself by wearing the mask.
Is this so you can explore a different side? No, not different. You can discover what you didn’t know was true of you. For example, a rogue character has combat, stealth, and physical strength. Rogue combat is very intimate. There can be an association like identifying with that strength as also being in you. Freeing you with that identification. You aren’t the character, but also are. The shaman who dons the crow mask isn’t crow, but they also are. Explore the feel of the identities, and the strengths they give us.
In practicing Tantra, it isn’t merely a union of you with he. Not to say that’s meagre, but it’s a union of you with you. One aspect of you with the others. Do you feel you must separate parts of yourself?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.