One reaches romantic maturity when they have accepted their “opposite” side and instead of looking for their opposite, they look for the truely “other”.
Between the two extremes is a natural world, an intuitive world, a world that shows up in our dreams where the meaning of someone’s feelings is paramount. If someone is emoting at you in your dreams, can you ever ignore it?
No, I don’t think so. In this state, the world is a place where systems can be freely dropped. When a structure stops making sense in a dream, or an activity, it just ceases to exist, ceases to happen. Again with the exception of the emotional incidents. In this state, life is inherently fascinating. Have you ever dreamed you were staring at some creature trying to figure out what it was or what it was doing? Perhaps you even wanted to help it? Dreams are all performing one process, rethinking, not recognizing. You recognize very little in dreams. Is this not so?
True. Also in dreams you re-experience. You know very well what anything feels like. You never lose sight of your motivation. Even if the object of your goal is lost, do you ever dream that you don’t know what you are doing? The whole dream revolves around what you’re doing and how very clear you are on that. Does it not?
Often obsessively. Would it be impossible to be that clear while awake? To be that oriented, to be that sensitive to others and the world around you? All it takes is softening analysis. Relaxing the thinking process. Meditation is an example of this or can be. Music, especially performing music can do the same. Humming to yourself. Any moment where you can check in to your feeling experience. Smile. Just smile as you sit somewhere.
It always starts with movement. Feel how you want to move, and let yourself move like that. Shuffle your feet, swing them like you did as a child. Touch something just because you feel like it. You don’t have to ignore everything you know, or anything you know really. What you have to do is rethink it, re-experience it. Often when we learn a thing we forget the circumstances we learned it in. We forget what made it appropriate. If we do that how could we know if it’s stopped being appropriate?
Perhaps a concrete example. How many car owners do we have here? Have you ever found yourself doing something to your car that was appropriate with a car you previously owned, but unnecessary with your current one?
Yes. Adding oil to the older one. How long did it take you to stop that?
About six months to stop checking every three days.
It took me about a week to get used to the clutch.
You were thinking, and not rethinking. Though it would have been appropriate, it’s easier to just leave our problem solving process in autopilot. If your skill set is good that might even solve a lot of problems for you pretty reliably, but even then there will still be those big problems. The OMG! moments that you would never have seen coming.
So to use the car example, what would have happened if you took a little time to re-experience your old car while looking at your new one? Remember the feelings you had with the old car, while consciously interacting with the new one? Really taking in the new car, getting a feel for its presence, its colour, its different features. Would you have stayed stuck in your old car habits?
Probably not. I would feel the connection more with the new.
Until I was confident it was not going to burn oil, yes. Thinking.
I guess I should summarize. The mind is not meant to be systematic. It’s meant to be supple, articulated, having the ability to move and change and heal like any other part of your body. This is not found in thinking. This is why I call it rethinking. If your mind was an arm, thinking is holding the arm straight, rigidly straight, like you might if you were carrying a heavy weight. Rethinking is bending and flexing that arm.
I used to drive two cars and the gear-shift patterns were mirror images of each other. I used to get so confused. Indeed. The way most people think, by the time they get out of their old car habits, their new car has the old car problem. It didn’t leak oil for all those months, but now it does.
You rethink through centering in your experience. Grounding yourself in your sensations in the only real “sense” anything will ever have.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.