Consider this notion should reflect your truth. There is only heaven. When death comes to anyone, to some it comes as an angel of mercy. Release from a life well lived and properly ended. For others, death comes as the avatar of a life squandered. A horrific demon off to drag them away from the chance they blew.
When we perceive that something is wrong, that perception is always that something is wrong with me. Is it not? Can you perceive something being wrong without personal involvement?
Or maybe, the fear that something could become wrong with me. Indeed, and the subconscious mind doesn’t comprehend future deference. Something could be wrong is seen as something wrong now. Something could eat me, means something is wrong now and behaviour must change.
Personal involvement has to be part of every perception, doesn’t it? It does. We learn as individuals that some states, as strange and unusual as they are, are non-threatening, so our behaviour in those circumstances changes. But how do we arrive at these realizations?
Experience? Desensitization? The two are the same, and yet how do we get beyond the initial concern, distress or aversion? What allows the desensitization to occur?
Reflection? We engage in what could be called projective anticipation. We predict the future based on our past experiences. This is also called imagination.
Seeing an alternative outcome more than the immediate uneasiness? Indeed. It isn’t just our perception of the world around us that controls our behaviour, and we do have the ability to control that to some degree, actually to a large degree. We can direct our attention as we wish, but our perception of our internal state as it’s created by memories, feelings, and imagination, controls our behaviour as well. It lets us choose the lesser of two evils when overwhelmed. Yes, the tiger may eat me if I hold still. It will certainly eat me if I make noise and run out into the open. The ability to “know” this uses our imagination, and we have no ability to imagine things that is separate from this same faculty we use to evaluate situations and anticipate outcomes.
If you are prone to poor impulse control, it’s because you already perceive yourself to be unable to satisfy your larger goals, even if this point of view is mistaken and fails to account for everything involved in your situation or include an accurate evaluation of your personal strengths and abilities. So how would we ever arrive at self awareness and understanding let alone self control?
So if you think you can’t satisfy long term goals, you don’t even try? No. You try and frustrate yourself. It’s part of the drama you keep up to feel like you are still a good person. “At least you can say you tried.” But your efforts will be misapplied, short sighted and rigid.
Those with poor impulse control need more self confidence? They need more self awareness. Confidence comes when you feel like your perception is consistent and reliable. Those with poor impulse control entertain the point of view that there is something wrong with them, that they have some mysterious shortcoming or flaw that they just can’t understand. They can step back from that point of view, reconsider that what they are experiencing and the activities they are engaging in do not actually show the potential they ascribed to them. That they can’t get what they want in the way they are behaving or in the places they frequent.
Eureka moments are always a shift in your point of view. Yes. Einsteins reference to being unable to solve a problem in the same state of mind that you became aware of it in, which is true. You see a problem because your point of view doesn’t include the solution. Points of view that include solutions are called technology. They are also art.
How do we achieve more of these moments? Understand what you can do and what you cannot do. You cannot interact with the picture as it’s been shown to you. Every situation, as it’s presented to you, is already fixed to the point that people may be heavily invested in keeping things that way, and they want you to do the same even if the situation as it stands hurts everyone involved. You can only interact with your own perception. You look carefully at whatever made you perceive a problem that others aren’t noticing. This may or may not include other peoples points of view.
“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness then permission.” Yes. It’s possible that the problem you have detected is circumstantial only, environmental only, and when you perceive what that situation is clearly, you will also easily see how it could be different. But odds are it won’t be so simple as that. What are the things we most fear?
Death and taxes. Social assassination and loss of status through loss of income.
Things that would change our point of view radically. Indeed. We fear being censured from the consensus point of view, and we fear being unable to maintain our sense of connection to society around us. It’s a cooperative effort that, and you fear you may not be able to make yourself invest.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.