What is the purpose of forgiveness, friends?

To let something go, not to continue to live it.

I have an awkward history with forgiveness. I was not forgiven for not forgiving.

It is releasing the hold that person’s words or actions had on you.

I think letting go is a good meaning for me. And a way to a peaceful new beginning, and I think when you forgive someone, you give them permission to forgive themselves and vice versa.

Is there a standard from which one’s behaviour should not deviate? Is anyone without error in their behaviour? When we have judged someone’s behaviour, it usually includes the opinion that the hurt they were a part of in our lives was wilful, yes? Have any of you, friends, wilfully hurt someone as other than a retaliatory act? Have any of you knowingly initiated harm?

In my experience, this is not a common intention in people. Generally, even when someone has a hostile reaction to us, it is not about us in any personal way. I occasionally get badly upset at a callous comment a friend or acquaintance of mine may have made, but I know that their idle comment had nothing really to do with me, as people’s states of mind are highly variable.

Aye, I know I have and not proud of it. It happened when I was a kid. Ah yes, immaturity has some scaring moments. We don’t start our lives with either the wisdom of forbearance, nor any real malice of intent, but we rapidly learn these.

There was a boy who hung around and I was fond of him. He had some brain damage when he was a baby and it left him unable to speak and he walked with a bit of a limp. The other kids would make him do stupid things like eat sand, and I never tried to stop it. Guilt by omission. That can be the hardest to deal with.

I wish I had stopped it. He was a nice boy and I’m sure the boy himself has forgotten this. He would be an adult by now of course. I am likewise certain. He remains an innocent soul and they should be held sacred. You are nothing static. No fixed attitude or even form is sufficient to serve as your identity.

I don’t think his mind was all the damaged just his motor skills. Well, children don’t normally get a say in those matters. Frontal lobe damage from what you describe. I appreciate the meaning of the event for you.

So yes, people often comment about how cold and hard life is. The greatest sins are in fact those of omission, but the need for forgiveness is universal. Forgiveness is not someone else’s sanction. You do not need anyone’s permission to exist. Forgiveness is just tolerance for error. That, and adaptive decision making, really are the same thing. We must look at our lives and our relationships (these being pretty much inseparable things), and see not how “That was wrong!”, but how it was in error and how we could adjust for it.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~