I will offer that there is no mystery in human behavior, just the schism between light and darkness that we create. All behavior arises from the same life force whether we judge the outcome as good or bad.
Stillness is readily available. Any energy someone has to yell at you they gain from stillness, and that energy they are using to yell at you will be spent. Inevitably expended and force our minds back to stillness. But if you add your energy to theirs, can that quiet space arise?
Someone yells at you and then you begin to storm up… which comes just a bit after their action… which feeds their tendency to yell at you rather than giving them time to consider their last action.
Being calm to an angry person usually just further irritates them, I find. It can. But that’s only an apparency and ultimately an illusion. The person who seems to just get angrier, when you are calm, will still burn out, because they were going to act like that any way. It’s just a longer emotional storm, because they have built up a more serious emotional charge. But this works even with so called positive emotions.
Ever find yourself wanting to avoid a really cheerful person? The really cheerful person triggers an instinct in us. Our inner stillness tells us that their emotion is strained, which makes us feel defensive. Being cheerful takes as much energy as being angry, and though it’s more fun, it can have bad effects as well. The life of the party insists on ignoring anything they don’t understand, for one. They become really rigid in both their thinking and their behaviour. They are also very often insensitive to peoples need to rest.
They often swing to the opposite extreme so are volatile. Even if it’s just a passive aggressive thing with a happy face, it can be vicious. True, they do. They have to put all their energy behind their values, and they value levity to the exclusion of other things.
It is their defence shield? A front to prevent other ness from emerging? Yes, and inevitably weak, because anything that cuts you off from stillness weakens you. The waves must rest before they rise again. The winds must rest before they change direction, even if only for a moment. The mind is like the wind and waves. We are their children in a symbolic and really literal sense too, and we can behave no differently.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.