You can’t trust another till you trust yourself, because if you don’t trust yourself then how do you know who’s trustworthy?
If a person is a worrier, though it’s seen as neurotic, it’s also sort of respected. Supposedly it’s the way to be deeply concerned about people and things. This isn’t in any way true, yet people treat it like a badge of honour. It is supposedly a thinker who worries.
How many mothers are told to worry about their kids? If they don’t, they are bad mothers. Yes, they are told that.
I get weird looks if I just shrug about the state of the stock market. Yes, that reaction isn’t “being responsible” in the world of finance. You supposedly should be heavily worried and trying to plan. Protect your future, by worrying in your present.
Like the wall street moguls? Yes. There have been studies regarding human potential and they have revealed interesting things. One is that human beings don’t multi-task well. Another is that stress retards learning. Under high stress situations people don’t learn well.
Too much going on at the same time? Yes, so what does this say about worry? Does it suggest we function at our best when worried?
It’s useless. Yes, in fact worry is exactly that, worthless. Worse than worthless, it’s damaging.
But, we only realise it when you can stop worrying? Do you really realize much of anything when you’re in worry? Worry impairs our ability to be fully aware of what we are “worried” about.
Fear? Most fear is unnatural.
So should we be unconcerned with things? No. We are naturally concerned, but concern and worry are totally different things. I like the use of the word concern in business. It is very neutral. It just means anything you are involved with, and no matter what your lifestyle there are things, and likely a long list of things you are involved with, is this not so?
How do we manage a habit of worry? It’s not as complicated as it might seem. For one thing many people keep many more concerns than they have the ability to influence. They are concerned for the world in general, but can they do something about the world in general? They watch the news and feel bad. Like recently there was a double homicide in my town. It made nation wide news. I don’t laugh at this or feel it’s insignificant, but it’s out of my sphere of influence. So without contempt, I put it out of my sphere of concern.
We all hear of awful things on the news, and we don’t just sit and burst into tears and feel depressed about it. Is that not human nature? Well, humans aren’t much in touch with their natures are they? A lot of times their nature will give good guidance, but they will feel guilty and “uncaring” so they will talk themselves into something that is unnatural and unnecessary. I know many people who try to keep up with the latest fads. They hear i-phones are really cool, so they have to have an i-phone. They get anxious about getting an i-phone.
Should you bring a veggie casserole to someone whose father just died? Possibly, that is an action you can take.
I mean, is that insensitive? Will it help? Ah, people worry about these things, and yes that is often one of the things that triggers worry, fearing outcome. The answer to that is to know your own intention, focus on it, and take action anyway. If the person is offended by the offer of casserole then that isn’t anything you could have controlled anyway. A major component of worry is having no central locus of control. It’s not a factual perception, but all too often people are conditioned to be “responsible” which means “be other people”, but you are ineffective when you are being the “good friend” or “good child” or even “good worker”. These almost never include things that actually stem from who you really are.
To poorly quote the Dalai Lama about worry: If there is something you can do about it, don’t worry. If there is nothing you can do about it, don’t worry. It’s a good guideline.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.