Your tensions are memories. All of them whether intense or more subtle are even potentially scars. Scars are not flexible, but for every tension, especially chronic tensions, there are memories.
The secret of conflict is that there is no conflict. We perceive ourselves to be in opposition. But the one who opposes you, do they oppose “you”? Or has their way run afoul of yours? They seek something in opposition.
Imagine an auto accident … It is nothing about opposition, just nature interacting with nature and adaptation is possible. One of the worlds most effective self defence disciplines, aikido, is based on this understanding of conflict. If someone comes to me and says I am totally upset with you. You are scum and unworthy. This person who confronts me… Do I benefit by saying “how dare you?” And fighting their statements? They have something that moved them to speak that way and when behaviour is unconstructive it’s because the person is desperate.
Seek first to understand before you seek to be understood. Like breeds like. You endorse their world view when you meet anger with anger. If you can see the light behind that darkness then this out of control angry person loses much of that steam. When you see truth then a one sided stance always topples. It is inherently imbalanced. If you are balanced like in aikido which is all about maintaining your balance. Aikido is a “passive” martial art often criticised for an inability to initiate aggression. It is supposedly too reactive, but is not any conflict reactive by its very nature? To oppose something, you have to compromise your balance. If I see no one as an enemy, do I have any enemies?
There are no closed systems. The law exists in a bigger context and there is someone who exists as a check against that resistance. It’s the principle of six degrees of separation. You are not truly separated from anyone on the whole planet. If you work within the balance, anything can be accomplished and often very efficiently. In Taoism there is a phrase. The sage does no great thing, only small, and yet nothing is left undone. People see magnitude of a circumstance and say to themselves, “I must fight this but it’s so much bigger than me so I will fail.” This creates conflict, drama and serious confusion. There is a way for anything in this world but it is not “our way”. It won’t work how we want it to just because we think it should. It works the way it works.
Gods way? In a sense, yes. There is a higher order. Higher powers than man and nothing is separated. The universe exists as a great whole, everything perfect in its dynamics, in its states. It is perfectly what it is. You shouldn’t act to set yourself against this. You should act on your nature as a part of the greater way.
You came about. We all did. All is cause and effect and all stems from a central cause. A core principle. It is wholeness, unity. Love if you will.
Peacefulness? No, not peacefulness. Peacefulness in one pole, passion the other, both are a part of the whole. Love is transcendent. To be at rest is not to be active. They are opposites in that they are complimentary like the crest and trough of a wave but they are not opposed. Indifference is a state of disengagement and is destructive. When the Buddha spoke of attachment the opposite wasn’t indifference. Which is an attachment to detachment and equally a source of suffering. The way of release, of transcendence, isn’t indifference. It’s engagement with all things. Allowing the oneness between you and the other. It is supreme empathy, not any form of disconnection.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.