When you stop taking things so seriously then you start seeing them clearly.
People project onto us and we assume roles. Young people tend to worry a lot about things they shouldn’t. Thus who has had a smooth third decade? Seems to me stories of that are rare to non existent. In their twenties, who doesn’t have some comedy of errors to relate at least, if not a tale of tragedy.
Then we project onto our children. Do you see yourself as limited and frustrated even in those small successes? I’m a father myself and raised my own son till he was eight. I know how it is, and am not going to give you some new age rhetoric.
I suspect (knowing what I know of projection) that their isn’t necessarily any animosity, but your bigger distress is likely not your children. Can you afford a babysitter? There are issues that some put off as selfish, but in fact they are needs. Child rearing can be wonderful. A great joy. But you didn’t stop being individuals when you married, and what got you together romantically didn’t and can’t be put on hold. I am not being sexist, but it is a more common attitude in women. This isn’t me being partial to a specific side of the issue. It is fact, human nature, instinct. But women are often taught to see it as immoral and thus are often in the long run single, and it isn’t because their partners wanted sex. Do you always perform for an unappreciative audience? That might last for a while, but you won’t be able to keep it up even if your health and stamina are great, your mind and heart will rebel.
Does a particular age or sex project more? No, they just project differently. You can’t project more since you project constantly.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.