The way of control is in the way of the controlled. The concept of control is what prevents control. It implies something must be controlled.
In magick, everything and anything we would influence is seen as whole and thus holographic. If you would change it, you have to have some part of it, but any part is as good as any other part. They all have the same power.
I need to be good and bad? Yes. Selectively good and selectively bad. That is the basis of free will. Your will is not free otherwise.
In order to turn aside anger, I must have some portion of anger. I am fated to encounter anger, because anger is one of those big forces we all encounter. I can influence anger, because I have some part of it I can work with. If I work with symbols of anger, that is still anger, and then I move anger to encounter peace.
To draw happiness to me, I have to have some portion of happiness. To take from a Snow Patrol song, “Something was bound to go right sometime today. All these broken pieces come together to make a perfect picture of us.” You will inevitably be happy, but your relationship to happiness can’t be changed if you insist you have no happiness to work with. Even sarcastic fake happiness is still part of happiness. Even bitter humour is still part of humour. If you embrace and work with these, they collapse into what they fully are. People being sarcastic isn’t the problem. They aren’t being sarcastic enough.
Many people do avoid negative emotions like the plague. And thus they forever hide from them, which means they forever mirror them.
I scream at my TV so I don’t scream at my friends. Excellent, but go further. Scream yourself hoarse. Scream until you can’t think. Then you will see that what moves you to scream is no different than what moves you to smile.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.