Intimacy is opening yourself up to hurt, and a lot of people make use of that. Actually, I would disagree with that. I tend to be very intimate with animals. I pay them a lot of attention. People see it as me just liking animals, and that’s a truth but not the whole truth. In the intimacy, I recognize threat behaviours. If I weren’t paying attention, I wouldn’t.
We hurt people when we ‘smell’ their fear of intimacy? No. If you sense their fear of intimacy, you create an opportunity though they may not like it. People are often put off when they are made aware of an opportunity. To be a bit blunt, narrow minded men see hitting on a woman as giving her an opportunity, and seeking that opportunity themselves. Just as often that opportunity is seen as a threat by the propositions woman. They are in a sense right also, because of the narrow awareness in it, but not because of the opportunity itself.
Shallowness of it? Yes. The opportunity excludes intimacy. Intimacy = depth, and intimacy promises substance. The guy I spoke of isn’t in touch with these things, but perhaps another scenario. A man approaches you in a public social place. Greets you politely and makes casual conversation, and then takes a genuine interest in you and how you are. Is this just as bad?
No, but it’s terrible how we automatically ‘suspect’. Yes.
Where’s this public social place? I need to go there. Well, for some it’s a bar. For others it’s a church, but other places are possible if people broaden their minds. I will confess I talk to people in libraries sometimes, or restaurants.
The virtual world of Second Life gives you a chance to open up to be more intimate. It takes away the physical threat some people are afraid of. For me, it is online. Guys seem to be more interested in me online. And there are men who won’t bother much with online things, so by your choice of place you do a sort of screening. But you aren’t being prejudiced really, because you hopefully are acting on your own desires and interests. You are automatically opening up to meet people who have something in common with you, and interests aren’t what I’m talking about. Interests arise from values, and it’s the values you’re concerned about, no?
I noticed as I started to open up more in Second Life, I started doing it more in real life too. Like the bookstore, etc. Yes, could you really avoid it?
Honestly, think about having real life communication like we do online. Talking to people in stores, and on the street. They have actually done sociological studies about the impact of virtual reality on human socialization, because there was the prejudice that it would distance people. They found that to be the opposite of the truth. Ideally, people are more self aware in this day and age. An opportunity to connect with people based on that is necessary.
I just wish I could click on someone’s ‘profile’ in real life. Indeed, but an interesting thing is when intimacy is your rule, you will “click on their profile” sort of naturally. Automatically, because you won’t entertain the notion that a front is ok. Autistics are dismissed as socially weird, but despite their cognitive limitations they do have something to teach. They can’t see fronts. Their world is automatically intimate. I have “aspergers” according to some authorities, and so I speak from personal experience. Is it the autistic who’s really the weird one?
No. Society just wants everyone to be able to close themselves off it seems. And when they can’t, they’re called not normal, and they ‘can’t cope’. Society creates its own ills. Nature copes, and society calls it a defect. Intimacy will put you in touch with nature. You can’t be open to intimacy and not notice natures sounds, smells, changes and cycles. And well, I suspect they would have an emotional impact as they are so often said to. Would intimacy with nature be more harmful than coloring between the lines of society?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.